Andy

All in the service of a president who wanted to *launch a nuke* at a hurricane a few years ago 🙃

Ah yeah, that would explain a lot. Hopefully he didn't get too weird or anything

Saying you're getting tired of your sirs rule is a brave choice. That's a big punishment waiting to happen 😈

Any word on what time starmer is going to address the nation today? You know, just in case it's important 👀

There's a very small chance they accidentally sent you a message meant for someone else, but the overwhelming likelihood they're just terrible at holding a conversation that doesn't turn sexual/sexting within 5 minutes

I just hope both teams have fun, and the two in a secret relationship have really good sex afterwards tonight!

I hope that if Ed does somehow end up in number 10 that for his first press conference he gives every single journalist there a bacon sandwich to eat before he starts taking questions, just because I feel he'll have earned that little moment of petty triumph

Can almost guarantee that's how he sees himself though, he's going through all of that gender affirming care to his jawbone and hairline for a reason.

Oh?

Yellow deck is really making me suffer for absolutely no reason and I hate everything about this game but still, I persist 😩

Delusional

I like to think Sue Gray is sat sipping a G&T somewhere with a slight smile on her face right now with McSweeney being given his marching orders

Of course he did. Asking someone like that to try local cuisine and potentially broaden their horizons would make their head explode

Good moaning to you too

two cats are hugging each other on a white blanket ALT: two cats are hugging each other on a white blanket

Self care always comes first, we'll all still be here when you're ready, until then you're getting all the cuddles you need and then some

Miss Piggy, I will die on this hill

As PR strategies go it's a dawned good one

🤨 between island of strangers, throwing trans people under the bus, 2 child benefit cap, fiscal rules, and now Mandelson if anything the other parties haven't gone far enough

a person is measuring a blanket with a tape measure that goes up to 9 inches ALT: a person is measuring a blanket with a tape measure that goes up to 9 inches

I've already decided to apply for a position as an official olympic penis inspector, this is a serious issue we need to address for the sake of the competition, after all

Looks like a great way to spend the day(s) off to be fair 👀 i'd enjoy celebrating like that with you

It's Rehman Chishti all over again

Two truths and a lie

- I was almost arrested for carrying a table football game down the street
- I spent most of my college lunchtimes in the local pub playing pool & drinking with my maths teachers
- My homophobic high school bestie cut me off for 10 years until he unknowingly hit me up on grindr

*cough*

Lizzo saw an opportunity for her to be in the general public's good graces again and said NOT ON MY WATCH!

YouTube video by Bold Politics with Zack Polanski Why Keir Starmer Has No Power | Zack Polanski

This explains the whole origins of McSweeney and Starmer, assuming this is even remotely true it 1. explains an awful lot and 2. shows that the whole lot of them needs to be removed ASAP

www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4Nn...

Oh this is terrible news 😢 I met him once years ago, he was lovely and full of stories.

I still remember him from the days of Big Break and doing his trick shots every episode, one of the legends of snooker without a doubt 💔

I was under the impression hemochromatosis is just too much iron in the blood which is definitely bad if left untreated but... it is very much treatable and has very little to do with alcohol consumption so... yeah 🤨

Maybe the car itself wasn't ready so they just took a picture of a scalextric car and made it a bad quality picture on purpose so no one would spot it

Probably because it's such a horrendous quality picture that the pixilation makes it look like Lego