Ali A. Rizvi

two husky dogs are laying in a blue bowl of ice ALT: two husky dogs are laying in a blue bowl of ice

ICE is most refreshing when it’s crushed

You’ve heard of Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS).

Now witness Trump Fellatio Syndrome (TFS): a full-throated, gag-proof loyalty to Donald Trump that cannot be dislodged.

“As RFK Jr’s TFS became more advanced, he began to tell people his voice issues were due to spasmodic dysphonia.”

Happy Father’s Day to all dads. Sperm is awesome.

One of them stabilized world markets. The other told us to inject bleach.

This is like Einstein debating a pop tart.

It’s like quantum physics having a sit-down with a ham sandwich.

One guy brings decades of economic insights. The other brings ketchup.

Should be enlightening.

This is totally fair

New definition of 4D chess:

1. Set the city on fire
2. Put out said fire
3. Say you saved the people

#HouseOfTards

Remember the good ol’ days when the biggest thing we had to worry about in a president was dementia?

Can’t believe he actually said that 😳

Manufacturing returns to America.

(Set to a Chinese soundtrack)

I love Bluesky, but I have to admit there are times when I miss that other place
😂🤣

You guys wanna see a dead body 🤣💀

Even Hellsite has its moments. 👏🏼

@jonfavs.bsky.social

Immigrants taking American jobs

I have to admit that I’m totally down with joining the US as a 51st state if we’re going back to plastic straws

You’ve heard of Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS).

Now witness Trump Fellatio Syndrome (TFS): a full-throated, gag-proof loyalty to Donald Trump that cannot be dislodged.

“As RFK Jr’s TFS became more advanced, he began to tell people his voice issues were due to spasmodic dysphonia.”

People who are slamming Elon for this are being extremely denigrating to neurodivergent people like Hitler

Will soon be holding a charity event for people who struggle to reach orgasm.

Let me know if you can come.

I wanna meet this guy

(that’s “meet” with two Es)

Also interesting to see how the 2-4 inchers are being compensated (or compensating?) at higher levels than the 6-inch crowd.

They CAUGHT SANTA and he took them ALL OVER THE WORLD!

My daughter Zoë and her cousins Isla and Mia just dropped their first song — they wrote it themselves!

Full video: youtu.be/aTo1I8KS37w?...

#merrychristmas #babyjesus #santa #allovertheworld

Elon Musk is the de facto president. He’s the one who will be making the decisions. With the US President as his toady and a net worth that recently surpassed $400 billion, he is possibly the most powerful man in history. That may or may not be a good thing. Time will tell.

5/5

Or do you go for the guy who will do anything you want — e.g. deregulate whatever you want him to — if you simply flatter him with compliments and make him look good to his fans?

4/x

So who would you support? Whomever is easier to influence or manipulate. Do you go with the party that snubbed you repeatedly even though you’ve been a liberal wet dream for environmental entrepreneurship for years?

3/x

When you already rule the roads, the skies, and the public town square, and you have so much money that it would take you over 1,136 years to spend it all if you spent $1 million a day — what else could you possibly want?

Answer: The ear of the most powerful head of state in the world.

2/x

The TIME Person of the Year should actually be Elon Musk.

Here’s why.

🧵

Brian Thompson was a human shield for a murderously corrupt private insurance industry that exploited its own customers for profit. Collateral damage is sadly an inevitable tragedy in any just war, but we all know where the real fault lies. Thoughts and prayers.

#LuigiMangione #UnitedHealthcare

So when’s Assad going on Rogan

Good morning. Meet my new hero.

#sexylady #marathon #skyrunners

I knew I’d seen those eyes before

#kashpatel #fbidirector #trumptransition

You can wag your finger all you want at the 76,000 people (out of 81,000) who responded to UHC's announcement on Facebook with laughing emojis — the way we wagged our fingers at Trump voters — but if you don't try to actually understand what's really going on, you will lose again and again.

Two things can be true at once:

1. Murder is always wrong and there is zero justification for it.

2. It’s human nature to feel a sense of justice and relief when someone you hold responsible for your loved ones' unnecessary death also dies.

Both things can occur simultaneously in the same person.