Charlie Alzamora

As they're in Italy perhaps they should have used the song "That girl is paisan."

Who thought to call it bluegrass in the delivery room rather than Doula Banjos?

I just wanna follow you around while farting and scrolling my phone and sometimes sticking my feet in your face for no reason.

Oh, shucks.

My a capella trio is so versatile that we can even sing about grits in three part hominy.

Just watched the Bad Bunny halftime show again. Missed so much last night: the sublime musicianship and choreography, the loving message of unity, the cartilage in the hips of all those young people, etc

(banging gavel in parliament) my friends should not be allowed to go to bed before me

This carpet is super fancy! A shag?

This carpet is super! Fancy a shag?

Punctuation matters.

Mrs. Huxtable was married to the policeman from The Village People.

Wore a sugarcane bush costume today. Going to stand really still and hope a bad bunny comes over to dance around me.

YouTube video by R.E.M. - Topic Man On The Moon

Monday. Anything is possible. You decide.

youtu.be/i2D9bDbbMeY?...

Made my 3mo fitness goal:

-19lbs fat
+10lbs lean body mass
=-9lbs on the scale

Never use the scale to gauge your progress.

Me: will you be my valentine?

Pizza:

Me: it's ok, you can think about it

My trust issues also manifest themselves when I look both ways multiple times before crossing a one-way street.

Your mama don’t dance & your daddy don’t rock & roll? That explains some of what’s wrong with you.

Went outside to watch the last fuck I had to give fly away.

I hope it visits once in a while.

Before work, I started my morning with coffee & Kids in the Hall. It’s all downhill from here.

Weird how I find myself watching the commercial about a guy chasing a plane and then jumping on just as it takes off and realizing that it probably did not require a ‘DO NOT ATTEMPT’ disclaimer.

Husband: "I'm the master of being quick!"
Wife: "So, you disappoint everyone by finishing in a minute?"

usa curling team member thinking about that ipa

peak male performance

People that say no to a third slice of pizza

1. Why would you?
2. How could you?

I consider it a mark against a song if I can understand the lyrics.

𝘉𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘞𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳 by the Doobie Brothers is my favorite song about coffee.

clearly my kids have figured out that when I’m drinking a margarita they can ask me for stuff and I’ll say yes so no more margaritas for me I guess

one of the highlights to being the parent of a 2yo is going through your kids pockets after you put them to bed and seeing all the things they found interesting throughout the day tucked inside

the best part of waking up is a fresh edition of worse waiting in my cup

oh no my cwypto it is vewy sick😭

Before leaving the vet, the receptionist mentioned the bill and I said "Put it on my Tabby" and the cat looked like "See what I gotta deal with?"

an old comfortable friend with benefits, weed skills and good tv suggestions would help

IT’S BASEBALL SEASON!!!! I can’t wait to be irrationally angry at my team on a random Tuesday night in April 🧡🧡🧡