The Card

Every day hurts so fucking much.

Thank YOU!

The earliest promos for this show highlighted the episode in which Doug attends a costume party dressed as a slug, leading me to believe the slug costume was his default attire.

Would’ve been cooler, honestly.

The era of “There’s no possible way he can do th— Ope! Never mind, I guess.”

This short was the sole reason I asked my mom to take me to see A Kid in King Arthur’s Court.

I’m suing the Cheers theme song on the grounds that “everything I got” is insufficient for making my way in the world today.

Inaccurate.

Yo, does anyone who’s, like, super-rich wanna do a Freaky Friday?

WIRED: Freaky Friday

TIRED: Mildly Unnerving Friday

Me with my intrusive thoughts.

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we couldn't pay phone or power, or gas, or phone, or internet, etc. we went into ~$60 of debt (so we're screwed in a couple weeks) so i could have some pain mgmt.

so much is going to collections. our joint checking was closed

ty to everyone who has shared.

pls consider helping us be seen. 💜🦄 💕💸

Me every day, but with less cool shirts.

Girl, are you the stock market? Because you're concerningly prone to manipulation.

Okay, my first reading of this is that you liked Speed 2.

I’m just the first one, but thank you!

One of the most appetizing burgers I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Hard same.

Sometimes the saddest people you know are also the funniest.

Okay, among the funniest.

Okay, moderately funny.

Okay, funny to an extremely niche audience.

Okay, TOLD that they’re funny so their feelings won’t be hurt.

Okay, me.

A Star Trek-themed bakery called High Fructose Gorn Syrup.

Thank you so much for the kind words. Unfortunately, I'm not really overcoming anything - just continuing to exist.

OCD owes me decades of back pay.

I’ve been prohibited from owning any “Live, Laugh, Love” merch on the grounds that I’m only capable of one of those things.

Whoa! This is the same renaissance fair I go to… or rather, *went* to before COVID.

The minor inconveniences, they consume me.

Fair AND square? In this economy?

And the media continues to minimize and normalize all of it.

This has basically been my life for the last two years.

Oh, hi, thunderstorm that knocked out my power right as I thought this terrible day was starting to wind down.

“Mr. Owl, how much abysmally bad luck does it take to bring a person to the brink of absolute madness?”

My fault for waking up, I guess.