The Card

BREAKING: Netflix logo to replace thimble in all future editions of Monopoly.

Or Paul Dano, just to piss off Quentin Tarantino.

“The weather outside is frightful” is now a lyric that can be applied to *any* time of year.

Still think rapidly accelerated climate change is a BAD thing?

BREAKING: Everything puts in bid to acquire everything else.

Dang! I was gonna reply with the Pinky and the Brain line, but someone beat me to it.

I like a good revenge story.

Except the one where the universe gets revenge on me for existing.

Guy named Paul discovers the true meaning of the holidays.

Jingle Paul the Way.

Pay me.

Liking your own posts is soft gerrymandering.

My ability to fall asleep vs. my ability to stay asleep.

Whoops! Woke up with zero desire to exist in this reality again.

I’ve also lost a ton of respect for the various studios and filmmakers who were insistent upon getting people back into theaters before vaccines were even available. Deeply sociopathic behavior.

Sure, there are movies I’d like to see in theaters - heck, I used to see one or two a week - but I’m not about to risk my life just to watch something a few weeks to a few months before it hits streaming.

I’m immunocompromised, but even if I weren’t, I wouldn’t be going to theaters in COVID times.

I’m fully against mergers of this magnitude, but it’s hard for me to mourn the purported death of the theatrical experience when I stopped going to theaters in 2020 and see no reason to go back, as 99% of the population continues to ignore an ongoing pandemic (and various other airborne illnesses).

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New comic! Wherein Cord breaks out the festive attire.

(Re-posted due to typo.)

Gonna do everything in my power to turn this into a reaction image.

Make a grand entrance (and a grand soup).

Fuck off.

I'm sorry to hear! It's mostly emotional on my end.

I’ve never seen it in full, but I’ve seen so many scattered bits and pieces (and parodies) that I’ve *basically* seen it.

Whenever someone claims that you could get a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich, they’re specifically referring to a ham sandwich that’s been credibly accused of felony assault.

😂😂😂

Ow. My everything.

And let’s not forget that at least two of the conservative justices (and their spouses) are confirmed MAGA cultists and that all six of them have been at the center of ethics scandals.

Absolute fucking joke.

Really cool how one of these seats was literally stolen and one of them involved Republicans going against the precedent they themselves set in place when they stole the first one and we’re all just supposed to regard this court as legitimate.

Girl, are you every pair of gloves I’ve ever owned? Because I’m destined to lose you.

a group of robots are flying through the air in a cartoon . ALT: a group of robots are flying through the air in a cartoon .

They’ve combined to form one super cat.

Is it cool if I make a pumpkin spice joke, or did I *just* miss the deadline?