Jennifer Haubrich

The 5 Stages of Trying to Watch a Movie as a Family It’s a lot like grief, but with popcorn

Denial: Movie night? Sure. It’s Friday. I’m worn out and ready to give up on this week, so that sounds perfect. I’m so glad we don’t have plans to DO something.

By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social

medium.com/frazzled/the...

What Not to Say at Your Next Parent-Teacher Conference Advice for the borderline competent

While much of a successful teacher-parent conference hinges on you listening to what the teacher says and nodding sincerely, you could easily screw it up by opening your mouth.

By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social

medium.com/frazzled/wha...

A Hostage Negotiator Critiques What You Say to Your Child at Bedtime You gotta remember, you’re the good cop

“Oh look, it’s time for bed. We had such a nice day. I’m tired. Aren’t you?”

By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social

medium.com/frazzled/a-h...

10 Little-Known Holidays Ideal for Deliriously Exhausted Parents And how to celebrate each one

But what parents need are holidays that give more than they take, like these ten holidays that are not at all made up because they exist on the internet.

By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social

medium.com/frazzled/10-...

How I Imagine the 21st Century College Experience Was Invented In a single conversation

Parent: We’re in a bit of a pickle. Since 1971, 18-year-olds have been considered legal adults. But now we know that the human brain isn’t fully developed until age 25. We need to find somewhere they can go until then.

By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social

medium.com/frazzled/how...

Disposing of Your Child’s Preschool “Art” So It Doesn’t Crush You to Death In six simple, devious steps

Disposing of your young child’s “art” requires a level head, strategy, and ruthless cunning. Otherwise, you’re going to be buried alive in drawings of people whose arms and legs both come right out of their heads.

By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social

medium.com/frazzled/dis...

How to Choose Your Middle Schooler’s Instrument Considering your ears, wallet, and sanity

How will you ever know if your son or daughter is a musical prodigy if you don’t put an instrument in their hands?!

But what instrument should it be?

By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social

medium.com/frazzled/how...

Humor: Rejected tea bag tag quotes An amusing list of funny potential tea bag tag quotes that will make you chuckle with your Earl Grey.

These are the types of wisdom I'd like to have with my tea. creators.yahoo.com/lifestyle/st...

How do we learn to let our kids go? One mom shares the surprising moment she realized the secret to letting go of her daughters—and it’s not what you think.

A serious parenting post for a change. creators.yahoo.com/lifestyle/st...

How Much You Should Be Paid For Listening to These Parents’ Comments From $3.59 to $1M

“My baby loves green beans the best!”

$3.59 — to reimburse you for the two servings of baby food green beans your baby threw in your hair and on the floor this week.

By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social

medium.com/frazzled/how...

Should You Try Swedish Death Cleaning or American Bed Rotting? Figure out which is right for you.

This will help you decide. jenniferhaubrich.substack.com/p/should-you...

The New York Times Games Editor Schedules Your Day Better get puzzling, you have a lot to do!

Do you need help scheduling your day? What we all need now is structure -- and more games! jenniferhaubrich.substack.com/p/the-new-yo...

Daylight Savings

“We’re sharing this information for your benefit. We’re also sharing it with your girlfriend, employer, and therapist because they all need it to settle a bet.” By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/im-your-smar...

Will A Teen Daughter Answer These Texts? Here’s how it’s gonna work…

In theory, we live in a world where our teens are always only one text away.

By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social

medium.com/frazzled/wil...

18 Parenting Legends and Superstitions Under Investigation If you rub the diaper genie at exactly 2 a.m., will your wish be granted?

2. If you rub the Diaper Genie at exactly 2 a.m. and make a wish, it will come true.

Only if your wish was to be up feeding a baby and changing a diaper at 2 a.m.

By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social

medium.com/frazzled/18-...

Citations Issued By The Office Grammar Police For offensive misuse of the English language

If lately, you feel as if you don't laugh, you will only cry, I have a Substack for that. I'm doing it for both of us.

open.substack.com/pub/jennifer...

How We Discovered the Secrets to a Conflict-Free Marriage! It’s not about compromise, like at all

Trust me, you haven't heard these before!

open.substack.com/pub/jennifer...

Taylor Swift’s Greatest Hits: New Mom Edition These songs are about a different type of heartbreak now

"32
It feels like a sleepless night
To wear spit-up-stained t-shirts..."

By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social

medium.com/frazzled/tay...

Today's post on Humor in the Middle: jenniferhaubrich.substack.com/p/were-your-...

A Breakup Letter From Your Facebook Profile Photo Maybe the feeling is mutual now.

jenniferhaubrich.substack.com/p/a-breakup-...

Answers from the Ethicist for Tired Parents Parenting is full of morally gray areas when you’re exhausted

"From the Ethicist for Tired Parents: Research has shown that kids under the age of five can’t tell time or understand a mom’s need to disassociate while scrolling Instagram at night. So put them to bed whenever you need to."

By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social

medium.com/frazzled/ans...

Emails From a Company That Considers Their Customers Like Family And will do whatever it takes to prove it.

This is how companies should be treating their customers! open.substack.com/pub/jennifer...

Welcome to Humor in the Middle Let's get ready to find some more fun

I started a new humor publication on Substack. You (yes, you!) are invited to check it out.

It's about finding and enjoying the relatable and ridiculous humor found in the middle of it all -- your life and mine.

Welcome to Humor in the Middle open.substack.com/pub/jennifer...

Everyone else is complaining that January sucks because it's cold, everyone's broke or on a diet, and no one wants to go anywhere. Meanwhile, introverts are like," ... Is this heaven?"

2025 Fashion Trends: What Writers Will (Probably) Be Wearing Predictions of what no one will see behind my keyboard

That's a Mocha Brown Mousse coffee spot, I'll have you know. jenniferhaubrich.substack.com/p/2025-fashi...

Reviews of Horror Movies or Comments About Riding with a New Teen Driver? When parents pay to be scared out of their minds

“I have only one word: Terrifying. Should come with a warning. It’s going to haunt my nightmares for weeks.”

By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social

medium.com/frazzled/rev...

Jennifer Haubrich on Substack Am I the only one whose mom gives them expired food when they clean out their pantry because they don’t like to throw away food? Which love language is this exactly?

substack.com/@jenniferhau...

My 16-year-old drove me to school today. I gave her a rating of 2 gray hairs. She agreed that was fair.

Would You Rather, Parents Version These are your choices.

1. Would you rather wake up at 6 a.m. on the weekends to stand outside on a cold soccer field or inside an ice rink?

By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social

medium.com/frazzled/wou...