Karen Rontowski

I don’t want to over exaggerate my importance in society but on Southwest I am A-list

I’m going to need every man with a small penis to identify himself by putting on an ICE uniform.

I see some of you already have.

Thank you for your cooperation

I’m as happy as the nightlight salesman with the Hilton account!
(Why are there 10 in every room?)

Oct 9 Pitman NJ
Oct 10 Emmaus, PA

The spooky season is here! Unfortunately, it started in 2016

10/9 Pitman NJ
10/10 Emmaus PA
Tickets at Paychicstandup.com

Omg I miss that when they made the donuts in the store

Sometimes the universe sends you the solution before the problem

I wish that was the same Dunkin where they sent me donuts before I even knew I wanted them

Hahahahah

Sometimes the universe sends you the solution before the problem

I wish that was the same Dunkin where they sent me donuts before I even knew I wanted them

When people see, I read tarot cards and tell me I’m going to hell I say of course, but not for this! This isn’t even in the top 10 reasons

When people see, I read tarot cards and tell me I’m going to hell I say of course, but not for this! This isn’t even in the top 10 reasons

I think that’s our new business

This justifies all sweatpants and tank tops

When it comes to fashion, I don’t need a skinny man from Paris picking out my clothes

I need a woman who lives behind the dumpster at the airport and feels like she’s late for something, but she doesn’t know what. That’s the person that gets me.

I believe you

Can someone tell me when we’re moving into an astrological alignment where everyone will stop being an asshole?

Can someone tell me when we’re moving into an astrological alignment where everyone will stop being an asshole?

Is there a new rule at the airport that you need to be in leggings so tight that I can see how many children you’ve had?

The problem with fashion is some skinny guy in Milan is creating it

I need my clothes designed by a guy that lives behind a dumpster in Utica!

That’s the guy that will understand the right sweatpants, and tank top for me

Do skydivers ever do a parachute cleanse?

My night vision is so bad that I have an alter in my car so I can channel a better driver

I’m learning to work with the five elements, fire air, water, earth, and Xanax

Whoever bought EVERY bra that was in my size at Ann Summers I NEED YOU TO STOP

YOU ONLY HAVE TWO TITS YOU DON'T NEED THIS MANY

Next to your to-do list, always have a joy list with an equal amount of entries.

That way you know you will have spent at least half your day in a state of joy.

Hahahah more fun

I am creating my own Rontowski tariffs that will be applied to any letter that contains a bill or a notice from the IRS. They will not be opened until tariffs are paid.

My friend had a near death experience.
I remember once I had a near job experience

I remember someone making fun of people for using a teleprompter

I don’t foresee the rapture, but I can definitely predict a nap

Anyone else feel like we are living in a bad soap opera that turned into professional wrestling and is now just a badly animated cartoon?

Oh I need one!!