Fondue Forks

Not to mansplain, but technically it's a "neck vulva."

That was a crazy play.

They fear the Needling.

Thank god they haven't broken out the accordions

Some guys just don't know how to help a gal. I always tip with gift certificates to Chick-fil-A, so that they can get themselves a yummy sandwich and maybe meet a decent Christian man like myself, who will let them dance for me, while making me a yummy sandwich for free. That's being an ally!

Ever since 1981, when I went there for books from my Humanities syllabus.

To be fair, I lose the better part of a day every time I get lured in there.

At least isn't the whole "I must not fear, fear is the mime-killer" thing.

He's more like Pig Testes Rockefeller, you know, sort of trying to be something classy like Oysters Rockefeller, but at the end of the day, he's a mouthful of pig balls.

Yeah well the EatYourFuckingVegetablesian Republic is going to smack both of these guy's heads together.

To be fair, can anyone say "acetaminophen?"

It's overrated. I'm going for ice cream instead.

Taking a couple of Tylenol before painting this morning. I heard it will make me artistic.

He certainly seems to have come from somewhere back in New Orleans' long ago, today, if you know what I mean, which would be great, cause I don't even.

Okay, I lied. I'm sitting at home, watching football, and waiting on Amazon to exchange some truck parts, but if I owned a cute sweater, I would be out Fall bitching like there's no tomorrow.

I don't want to alarm anybody, but I am a fall bitch, trading out my Carhartt shirt for a turtleneck sweater and adding cinnamon to my coffee before heading out to buy the best gourds.

Looks like you've taken a shopping cart into the Heart of Swedish.

Can you develop some animated character cartoons? I'm not picky, Hot Rat Summer could be the new Steamboat Willie.

So is it a "Do a little dance, buy a little food, get down tonight" or "Shake-shake-shake, shake-shake-shake, shake your zucchini" kind of groove?

Well, I guess if you're a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit, you can just go fuck yourself because there won't be a midnight train going anywhere.

Go ahead and stop believing any time now people.

"Content moderation is totally worth it" says satiric website, as it's content slowly gets moderated out of view.

I wore a tuxedo jacket over a linen shirt, figuring my jacket should be black for "cocktail" to go with the LBD (Little Black Dress)

Dude, you could hire Old Testament God to coach the team and he wouldn't be able to make a difference.

The problem is the organization.

No, someone more famous, not someone with more results.

That is drop dead sexy, right there people.

OMG! he's not some 20 year old playing in Europe! OMG! WTF? OMG! WTF?

Sheesh people.

To my credit, I have changed over the last 30 years and am a completely different kind of impossible man now.

I credit the internet for enabling me to completely misunderstand myself and giving me the confidence to believe in my misapprehensions.

My wife should have known better for over 30 years now.

Good triumphs over Richie Rich.

On the positive side of the ledger, at least it doesn't go to Renton.

On the negative side, more people actually want to go to Renton.