ThatHorrorTeacher

Don Anelli turned me on to this one. It’s a throwback to Italian horror of the 70’s and 80’s. Intense gore, slightly silly plot, low budget, questionable acting, and a lot of fun. If you know that’s what you are getting going in, I think you’ll have a great time. Rating 7/10. Streaming on Tubi.

EUROPA LEAGUE FINALISTS

This movie is WILD. Enjoy? Haha

I really enjoyed the direct attack this movie lobbed at the Andrew Tate-esque douchebags who think their partners owe them something instead of them earning it by being, you know, a decent person who treats their partner with respect. It was clever, original, and pretty funny. Rating 8/10.

The filmmakers want me to believe that there is a world where slasher killers are real, and their kills are turned into dozens of movies that are sold at a local video store, yet no one in town seem to realize that this happening. Riiight. Rating 4/10.

I gotta be honest. I don’t really know what the point of this movie was. It had great performances by great actors, and the puppet was certainly creepy, but it didn’t really amount to much in the end. I kept waiting for something bigger to happen, and it never did. Rating 6/10.

Horror Movies + video games + Me + Lonely + Trey Whetstone = a great time on No Bodies Horror Podcast Episode 51. Give it a listen. We appreciate your support!

This movie is ridiculous, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed it. Jeffrey Combs is delightfully over the top as the villain, and the movie is far meaner than I expected it to be. Turn your brain off, and you can enjoy it. Rating 6.5/10.

This movie is imperfect. There are some plot holes and some contrivance, but I found myself riveted by the story and legitimately creeped out more than once. Plus - Casper Van Dien! Looking forward to rewatching this knowing where it’s going. Could bump the rating. For now 7.5/10.

Sometimes @stephenking.bsky.social throws a story in an anthology that’s not horror and is incredibly moving. Today I read “Last Rung of the Ladder”, and it really moved me. Thanks, Steve.

I’m fine with a slow burn, but this was a no burn. An absolute slog for 70 minutes, and while the end was interesting, it doesn’t do near enough to make up for the rest. Which is too bad because the cast is great, and it’s well made, other than boring me to tears. Rating 4.5/10.

Why does my love of religious horror betray me so, so often? Maybe with a different editor, script, director, and actors, this would not have been a dumpster fire non sequitur of a movie. But as is…Rating 2/10.

This Korean mystery/horror has a simple story, but it works. The performances are strong, and while I wouldn’t say it’s scary, it’s certainly a terrifying situation. There are a too many plot contrivances in the final act, but I definitely think it’s worth a watch. Rating 7/10.

Antrum has a cool conceit, and there are unsettling images sprinkled into the actual film within a film. It’s also very slow-paced and the performances are inconsistent. Overall, I appreciate its originality and that it gave me Last House on the Left vibes (in look and sound…not plot). Rating 7/10.

Osgood Perkins is the king of creating atmosphere and tone, and this film is confirmation of his genius as the atmosphere and tone could NOT be more different from his previous films, and he NAILED it. I smiled, chuckled, and laughed throughout the whole movie. Rating 9/10.

Congrats! Couldn’t happen to better people.

OK, so this is only peripherally a horror movie, but Dear Lord is it an exceptional film. Excellent child performances, an incredibly moving score, an undertold and fascinating story. I loved every minute of it. As a horror movie, it’s probably a 5/10. As a film? 9.5/10. See it if you missed it.

A faithful and pretty good adaptation of one of my favorite Stephen King stories. It’s definitely very 1991, but I think it holds up decently well. It’s certainly better than a lot of other King adaptations. Rating 7/10.

Fun fact- I was giving a tour in NYC and stumbled upon them filming the seen on the bridge in Central Park, and the crew let us stay on set and watch. Pretty cool!

I have never seen a movie like this, so full marks for originality. Unfortunately, those are about the only marks I can give. This was a low-budget effort, which I can appreciate, but here it hurt the film. As my wife noted, the monster looked like a Jeff Dunham puppet. Unfortunate. Rating 5.5/10.

I’m partial to flabbergasted. But cerulean is excellent.

This was Hugh Grant’s Kathy Bates-in-Misery performance, and he deserves to be awarded. In the back half they introduce a few too many ideas that they don’t entirely follow through and things get a bit sloppy, but that’s also when it brings the horror. Overall it was a 7.5/10.

This was a creative FF movie made for a ham sandwich. Plus, at 62 minutes long, it’s refreshingly quick-paced. Love to see this type of movie getting publicity even though it was given free to us on YouTube. I hope Curry Baker gets opportunities to make more movies. Rating 8/10.

Not to mention THREE nods for Nosferatu, including cinematography. It was the most beautifully shot movie I saw all year, but I never expected the Academy to notice. SO BACK!

Finally got to the theater to see this, and it was worth the wait. Absolutely stunning to look at, legitimately scary, and Orlock was a real bastard. Aaron Taylor Johnson was bad and a few other performances could have been scaled back, but otherwise it was excellent. Rating 8.5

Well this is just wonderful.

I can’t lie and say I love many of David Lynch’s films. However, I saw Mulholland Drive in a theater in Marseilles in a neighborhood I probably wasn’t safe in while backpacking across Europe. It was a weird experience, and I like to think he’d have been a fan of that story. RIP

Well, 2025 started with a bit of a dud. There was a unique idea in this, and I definitely chuckled a few times. But something just didn’t work. Either the score seemed off, the camera work didn’t seem logical, or the performances were strange. I love Nick Frost, but I don’t love this. Rating 5/10.

My goodness. Standing ovation for having the stones to make this movie and make it completely batshit. The fact that it has a real chance to win an Oscar or two is truly a win for horror. It was too long, and it has its share of plot holes, but…my goodness. Rating 8/10.

New Year’s Resolution - Don’t finish God awful movies. So I stopped this one at the 49 minute mark. Brandy was fine; the rest of the cast, particularly the old woman were laughably bad. I cannot believe A24 was behind this. What were they thinking? Rating - DNF (Did Not Finish)