The Halfway Post

Jokes About Mitch McConnell Before He Goes To Hell Just kidding, I don't even believe in Hell, but if there was one, did he really live a very Christian life?

Just kidding, I don't even believe in Hell, but if there was one, did he really live a very Christian life?

BREAKING: Donald Trump has reportedly been calling foreign countries' justice departments all weekend threatening and begging them to drop their Epstein investigations, and stop subpoenaing the emails and testimony of Epstein accomplices who could implicate him.

BREAKING: The repercussions of the Epstein Files now include a dozen divorces by women disgusted in their pedophile husbands.

BREAKING: The wealthy pedophiles in the Epstein Files are reportedly living in terror every day paranoid someone will snitch on them in exchange for immunity.

BREAKING: Gen Z teens are reportedly beginning to expose their dads as Epstein's friends on TikTok.

BREAKING: The billionaires in the Epstein Files are reportedly freaked out after French authorities raided the Paris Twitter headquarters because they're worried Elon Musk will squeal to the cops about the one party they let him go to before blacklisting him for being weird.

BREAKING: A group of 15 MAGA fans in Montana are starting a hunger strike they vow will continue until Pam Bondi releases all the Epstein Files so Trump can finally be proven innocent, or they die.

BREAKING: After a year of belligerent tariff threats and now his intelligence-insulting Epstein cover up, foreign countries are reportedly no longer picking up Donald Trump’s increasingly desperate phone calls for negotiating some kind of deals he can take credit for.

BREAKING: A top national security official said today, "We have no idea how many foreign governments or private individuals could be blackmailing Donald Trump on a daily basis with their knowledge or proof of his Epstein-related sex crimes. The US has never been so compromised."

BREAKING: US national security officials are reportedly raising the alarm that European prosecutors are already collecting confessions from rich pedophiles that implicate Donald Trump, and now a dozen new countries beyond Israel and Russia have major blackmail on him.

BREAKING: Guests at Mar-a-Lago say Donald Trump is giving off "Jim Jones vibes" now that so many foreign countries are investigating Epstein's accomplices and he has no control over their evidence redactions.

BREAKING: Several billionaire accomplices in Epstein’s sex-trafficking ring are reportedly racing each other to try and get immunity deals for ratting out Donald Trump and everyone else.

BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly furious that House Republicans got outplayed by the Clintons, and now they might out him as a psychopath pedophile on live television.

BREAKING: A mob boss reportedly burst into laughter when he heard Trump say he and Bill Clinton “understood each other” and exclaimed, “He sounds exactly like us when we’re hinting at someone not to rat on us because of mutually assured destruction.”

BREAKING: James Comer is reportedly terrified because he only demanded that the Clintons testify to impress Donald Trump, but, now that the Clintons are agreeing to testify and demanding it be televised, he has no idea what they might say or how much it might incriminate Trump.

BREAKING: Several countries in Europe say there is no amount of tariff threats Trump can make that will make them censor evidence they find of him being an accomplice of Epstein’s crimes.

BREAKING: Pam Bondi is reportedly freaking out because the Epstein investigations just launched by the UK, France, Poland, and Lithuania will soon reveal many of the psychopath criminals and horrific crimes she sold her soul to cover up.

BREAKING: Billionaires around the world are reportedly freaking out after France, Poland, the UK, and Lithuania launched major investigations into Epstein's operation because their prosecutors will not censor everything like Pam Bondi and Todd Blanche did.

BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly terrified that so many foreign governments have just opened investigations into the Epstein sex trafficking ring, and their prosecutors won’t censor all the names of the criminals involved like Pam Bondi did.

BREAKING: Another movie theatre in Philadelphia interrupted a screening of the Melania documentary halfway through and started projecting screenshots of the Epstein Files detailing Donald Trump's rape allegations.

BREAKING: Top GOP officials are reportedly complaining that "weak, disloyal women" in the House and Senate will let their "hormones and empathy for abused children" convince them to vote with Democrats to release the evidence that Trump was a ringleader in the sex-trafficking.

BREAKING: Top GOP officials are reportedly begging several female Republican House members not to switch parties and give majority control to Democrats so they can impeach Pam Bondi, subpoena all the Epstein Files, and reveal all the pedophile rapists and murderers.

BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly terrified of one House Republican switching parties to suddenly give Democrats majority control and subpoena power to finally reveal all the Epstein Files, and hold him and all the rapists, murderers, and blackmailed traitors accountable.

BREAKING: Hundreds of top Trump staffers, members of Congress, CEOs, bank executives, and other rich people woke up, ate breakfast with their families, and went to work today relieved that Pam Bondi and Todd Blanche are hiding the photos and videos of them raping children.

BREAKING: A growing protest movement is calling for boycotting filing taxes until all Epstein Files are released because we're funding a government clearly controlled by sex-trafficking murderers blackmailing or bribing Trump, the GOP, the media, banks, and all tech companies.

BREAKING: A federal judge reportedly wants to begin fining Pam Bondi and Todd Blanche $10,000 daily until they stop "flagrantly disregarding the unambiguous legal mandate to uncensor the names of Epstein's accomplices in his decades of sex-trafficking, torture, and murder."

BREAKING: When Donald Trump demanded his lawyers sue Epstein’s estate for giving up all the emails, his lawyers asked if he realized that meant all the emails would have to be revealed for trial without DOJ redactions, and then Trump folded his arms across his chest and frowned.

BREAKING: A top GOP official in Texas says, "It looks like we f***ed ourselves with our gerrymandering. We watered down all the red districts to steal as many blue ones as possible, and now the electorate hates us and our turnout is collapsing."

BREAKING: A new poll finds that 93% of Americans approve of confiscating the wealth of every criminal in the Epstein Files and paying off the debt or expanding healthcare access.