The Halfway Post

BREAKING: A 6th grader on a White House tour today reportedly asked Trump, "You're just going to incite chaos with ICE to try and distract everyone from how your tariffs aren't working, you can't get any trade deals, and the Epstein cover-up makes you look terrible, aren't you?"

A Donald Trump Insult For All His Presidential Predecessors George Washington — “George was a loser who showed such weakness refusing a third presidential term.

Trump’s history grasp is something to behold.

Dash MacIntyre's Podcast Recommendations Need some good podcast recommendations? If you like my comedy and creative mind, these are some of my weekly influences!

If you like my comedy and creative mind, these are some of my weekly influences!

BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly worried he’s going to be blackmailed by some of the FBI agents who were assigned to fill a spreadsheet full of the hundreds of times it appeared in the Epstein files.

BREAKING: The porn-monitoring app that Speaker Mike Johnson uses with his son to alert each other when they look at pornography just overtook Grindr as the #1 gay hookup app, with several users comparing its functionality to “putting out a Bat-Signal” when they’re horny.

BREAKING: Trump says he will sue any media company that reports on the “Trumpvilles” beginning to be built outside major cities to house people affected by his plummeting job numbers and tariff instability.

BREAKING: Donald Trump is accusing his caddies of getting caught cheating for him on purpose, and is now withholding their pay.

Trump Says His Body Odor Is An "Offensive Power Move" To Win Every Deal For America This weekend's Dada News headlines!

Trump says his horrible stench helps him make great deals because his negotiating opponents are desperate to make a deal to get out of the room and get some fresh air.

Trump's Scottish Bagpipe Protesters Are A Halfway Post Joke Come True My little cathartic jokes at the expense of the demagogue are like butterfly wing flaps doing something to the future

Trump's mother was Scottish, but the Scots still hate him

BREAKING: Donald Trump says golf is the only sport not rigged against him because there are no referees, and the scoring depends on honesty and integrity.

BREAKING: The first place trophy for Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Classic golf tournament next month already says “Donald J. Trump” on it.

BREAKING: The European Union has reportedly asked Donald Trump to stop coming to their negotiation summits made up like an orange clown.

BREAKING: Trump reportedly wants to play golf with Kim Jong Un in North Korea, but is worried Kim would cheat even more than him.

BREAKING: Trump claims his caddie who threw a new ball on the green after his real ball landed in a pond to help him cheat at his Scottish golf tournament last weekend was hired by Joe Biden to frame him as a cheater.

BREAKING: During the point at which all of Trump’s cabinet secretaries give 90-second spiels on how successful and energetic he is in their meetings, Trump fell asleep today and audibly farted several times as they awkwardly continued praising him anyway.

BREAKING: While Trump blames the falling job numbers on everything from Joe Biden, to DEI, to windmills, Josh Hawley says he’s worried masturbation is the true culprit.

BREAKING: Pam Bondi’s doctors say she’s currently at the hospital trying to get them to induce her into a coma so she doesn’t have to deal with the Epstein files cover up anymore.

BREAKING: Donald Trump says, "It’s boring, and no one wants to know" what Todd Blanche, his previous personal lawyer and now current #2 at the DOJ, talked to Ghislaine Maxwell about.

BREAKING: Ghislaine Maxwell is now reportedly claiming that the only thing she saw Donald Trump do with underage girls at Jeffrey Epstein’s house was lead Bible study sessions.

BREAKING: Donald Trump's new White House ballroom plans reportedly include a portrait of himself bigger than the portrait of Mao Zedong in Tiananmen Square.

BREAKING: Donald Trump just fired his doctor for accurately recording his recent weight gain numbers.

BREAKING: Donald Trump is yelling his catch phrase, “Stop the count!” again, this time about job numbers.

BREAKING: A televangelist from West Virginia claims Satan has engineered Taylor Swift’s relationship with football star Travis Kelce so Swift can give birth to the antichrist and ignite the apocalyptic thousand-year war against Christ.

Trump Claims Pam Bondi, Who Has Disappeared, Was A Biden Hoax This week's Dada News headlines!

Trump's not happy about the clustf*ck that is the Epstein files rollout!

A televangelist in Louisiana claims Taylor Swift is “brainwashing an army of women and girls into sleeper agent feminist freedom fighters to conquer the US and enslave all the men so they can peg them.”

A Secret Service Agent Says Trump Is The Weirdest President Since Calvin Coolidge Join my comedic rebellion—subscribe to support my comedy for just $2.50 a month. Never stop laughing at the fascists.

It's "Silent Cal" vs. "Captain Cankles"

BREAKING: Donald Trump was reportedly just overheard yelling into his phone, "We couldn't even get a trade deal with Kyrgyzstan yet? How hard could Kyrgyzstan be? Now I have to postpone the tariffs again. I look like an idiot!"

BREAKING: A televangelist in Arkansas is defending Donald Trump from his Epstein allegations by pointing out "there's plenty of rape, incest, and pedophilia in the Bible."

BREAKING: The United Nations is serving chicken tacos for lunch today to honor Donald Trump once again chickening out over his tariff threats that harm Americans more than anyone else.

BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly pissed his administration didn’t finish any trade deals while he golfed for 35 of the last 60 days.