jonsghost

I posted a really funny thing on Twitter earlier, seriously

The sweet thing about writing a romance is the other person loves you

Ape brain bad move. Stay monkey, be happy

just having fun. have a great night everyone!

Imagining poor Legs watching this short

The first act of fortune-telling force in this Three Stooges short? Let’s just say, it ain’t Shemp!

Husbands Beware, 1956 Three Stooges short

The fated Columbia-era Stooge short offered by Plex-chance to Ides-of-November my near-year return to mid-fall blue skies?
Let’s just say: Reader, marriage might soon be in my cards (accepting dms)

To commemorate my first post here in 51 weeks, I shuffled my Three Stooges library in an act of augury

The sock only works when it’s all the way on.
You think you can have a little breather and you drag it down some with your toe, but there’s no grey-zone with socks. Push past the ankle and it’s game over.

(While the world is devouring me)
“No! Not my Pleasure Forever records!”

Q: What did Mark Hoppus say when he received his cancer diagnosis?
A: Dammit

I’m like a blow-up toy, and I bring my own hot air

Watching elemental and crossing my fingers that the fire and the water fuck

I remain assailed by intrusive visions of fat juicy asses

Thinking of some big-eyed freak. An absolute bugso! Just a bent-armed slimy drooling nut ready to love me

The new Slowdive album is superb, but so is the 1984 Rod Stewart album Camouflage. Go figure

I got a spwintah on my fingy and no one cares

It’s almost like this argument was ruled upon decades ago!

Parental rights are garbage. Kids rights are paramount, always. If you feel strongly about this fact, take it up with your damn kids!

“How you like your new truck?

Me in matching pea-green oven-warmers:
-this gal has Taylor Swift “Peace” as her story
-oh SHIT

Dear Lord,
I’m not asking for a bigger member. I’ve learned better.
I’m just asking for you to bestow upon my local denim-zens the jeans design I saw in the 1978 film Blue Collar. The one that makes their hogs so demanding, so purposeful, so that I may too wear them.
Thank you in advance,
-Jon Cott

Watching Dirty Work, on behalf of the holiday

Crying and looking for a focal point

Why do flies only make that sound when they go by your ear?

Takeaways from Sex Comedy Summer:
- Bikini Summer 1 is much better than Bikini Summer 2
- Meatballs 3 is the gem of the Meatballs saga
- Last American Virgin is the Porkys/Ridgemont hybrid, not the Tom Cruise Spanish Fly movie
- Summer School bests Summer Rental in the Carl Reiner Summer Canon

We chide the kids, yet they drop more Echo & the Bunnymen memes than any of us during our cute once-in-a-lifetime moon

1 weird thing about me?:
I’m really interested in blaming the NEARLY-ENTIRELY PRIVATIZED health-care industry and the, again, NEARLY-ENTIRELY PRIVATIZED pharmaceutical industry for public policies that may’ve/may’ve not killed more/less people.
Some say I rebel by even saying this! I’ll never tell..

The workers, and I cannot stress this enough, the workers are going home

Watching ‘80s comedies, losing my mind over the full, natural, luscious eyebrows