smartenoughmonkey

A vintage looking book cover showing a man pointing to the engine in a car with the hood up. The book title is "Everything I don't like is WOKE. A book for basic dickheads". The quote next to the man says "This engine is woke."

Thinking of starting a Bishop Budde fan club. Anybody in?

It's 9:40 am and I've already managed to stain my pants with coffee and peanut butter in two separate, unrelated incidents. It's gonna be one of those days....

I think instead of saying “namaste” at yoga we should say “ohhh BIG stretch” like we do with our pets

Mexico has sent hundreds of firefighters to LA. Turns out they ARE sending their best.

Piles of three varieties of tomatoes, some ripened, but most still green.

I probably should have gotten out a day or so earlier, but I finally yoinked the last of the viable green tomatoes off the vines!

Like I absolutely know that it's a thing, but having mostly grown up on the east coast...lakes so big they have waves like oceans still feels weird to me!

My own mom is not quite that ambitious, but she has been known to make up her own random acronyms. I haven't been religious for a long time but when she started using TCGB in place of "take care god bless" I was a little charmed (and strangely craving frozen yogurt).

That reminds me...I have some ghost broccoli in the fridge just looking to be exorcised.

Tweet from GL @gldivittorio: This feels like a whole lot of trolley problems for a country with hardly any public transportation

That's awesome...what do they call this cocktail?

Me, I'm a little ashamed, but I continue to remain somewhat willfully ignorant on that front, all the same.

Oh man, how embarrassing...I think that was Lafayette you posted.

Jesus backflipping over a table.

(found on mastodon):

What happens when you tell an AI image generator to recreate the scene of Jesus flipping over tables.
I mean, it's 𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘩𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 correct. 😅

mastodon.nz/@KiwiEV/1110...

The last words you hear are “you do not bring joy”

Lesbian rule - Wikipedia

I was today years old (yesterday, technically) when I found out this was a thing!

a drawing of two cups filled with brown liquid. the one on the right has round objects at the bottom and is labeled "boba tea". the one on the left has spiky objects and is labeled "kiki tea".

my favorite one:

you monster! ;)

Not gonna lie...that one took me a minute!

Boss: Let's put this matter aside for the time being Me: [looking around nervously] Can only you see the time being? Boss: Huh? Me: Is it standing near me? Boss: Who? Me: [on verge of panic attack] The time being

The polka dots seem like an excellent choice for those shoes!

Chris Hemsworth, I believe, is 6’ 3” and 215 pounds.

Screenshot of the Transition tab of a web-based application. The option selected in the dropdown says "Cancel request (2)," and there are two buttons underneath: one reads Cancel (to Cancel the Cancel transition), and the other reads Next (to continue the Cancel transition)

Bad UX at work...I almost hit the wrong button every.single.time.

Why do I feel like Rudy's trying to steal my life force?

Oh, this doesn't *at all* sound like the premise of a Black Mirror episode.

did u know the real reason pc games use the wasd keys to move???
w is for "walking forward"
a is for "am going left"
d is for "due right"
and s is for "sbackward"

Are there actually people who are this enthusiastic about baked beans? I mean, I like them for eating sometimes, but...

In all my years, I've never seen a hippo nard, so this tracks...

have they tried moving forward or trying to detect it? It's not too late