bear glitch

If you're old enough to have watched .hack//Sign you should probably be more worried about .back//Pain

Only he can post

Chew Guy is launching his own app, it’s called ChewSocial

things are looking bleak for the freak

Bananas are the greatest fruit ever

I knew I shouldn’t have put salt on my eggs this morning

Nothing more disrespectful that live reacting to getting bloodwork back and seeing “abnormal” appear on every panel because one test was 0.1 units above or below the median range

Chik Fil A employees talk like they got a gun to they head at all times. I just wanna tell those lil evangelical kids that everything’s gonna be alright

the lebron of opinions

knowledgemaxing so that I will be the one mr. hot takes guy of the 2030s to rule them all

They came out a teenage mutant ninja

have you ever dropped something down a sewer or storm drain and if not do you have a fear of dropping valuable items in them

it’s so cute when white people wanna show how committed they are to not saying the n word by replacing it with expletives and then loading up on them for extra measure. I just wanna pinch their cheeks condescendingly

“Be there or be square“ I’ll be a rectangle if you don’t shut up and stop rushing me

I’m the agent 47 of piss

It can run DOOM if you try hard enough

jailbreak your microwave TODAY

STOP 👏 GENTRIFYING 👏 OWL👏 CITY

Don’t ask me relationship questions I’m red-green flag colorblind

I’m not “neurodivergent” I’m just diverging my neurons from this conversation

I’m not self-righteous you’re just self-wrongeous

I’m just gonna say it: constellations make no sense. That does not look remotely close to a bear no matter how you look at it.

A picture of KIng DeDeDe's official art from Super Smash Bros. Brawl

Had a dream a couple nights ago that I was working some corporate job. During a board meeting a member presented a PowerPoint with a bunch of dry statistics. Suddenly the next slide read "THE FOLLOWING CHARACTERS ARE VIETNAMESE:" followed by this image:

3 weeks into 2026 and I've already forgotten what the story of The Nutcracker is about

me: I can open bluesky for a second. It's not like there will be a penis or a whole ass on my timeline
The person behind me in line at Chipotle:

YOU ARE A CONSTRUCT OF IMAGINATION.
YOU. ARE. NOT. REAL.

i wore jeans for the first time knowing this girl the other day and she told me it's the first time "you're wearing real pants"