Mallory 🇬🇪🇺🇦🇵🇸🇬🇱🇵🇦🇨🇦🇲🇽🇪🇺

FIFA honoring Trump feels like the only award he’s actually earned, its a professional association for corrupt people. its like a doctor getting an outstanding service award from a medical association

the young groyper republican is, like, excluding for income, the *textbook* example of a target for radicalization by basically every extremist group in human history, just a self-hating human-shaped vessel waiting to be filled up by the darkest thing that comes along

The only person who should direct a Hallmark Christmas movie is John Waters

Boomers: It just sucks so much that everyone gets participation trophies now, you used to have to show real merit to get an award

Also Boomers:

Woke 2, I think, will be surprisingly quiet on sex and gender politics and apocalyptically puritanical on matters of corruption and personal honor

When everyone knows it's probably Grandpa's last Christmas so everyone makes a big deal about him

single-family-only zoning is not what keeps the zinc smelters away from the playgrounds

lrp Helicopter Story is brilliant, visionary speculative fiction and there was NO reason for people to react the way they did. genuinely maddening

One thing you can say about Trump, he’s undeniably useful for exposing the moral rot and patronage that sustains elite cosmopolitan society.

"I like plucky, straight-shooting outsiders like Trump and Mamdani" is a very foolish position but it's clearly one held by thousands and thousands of our fellow Americans.

NEW info on shipwreck attack. It gets worse.

The 2 survivors climbed atop wreckage and waved to overhead.

"Some of the people viewing the video thought ... could have been an attempt to surrender"

Others "said the most logical explanation was ... signaling for a rescue."

1/

The Supreme Court Wants Republicans to Keep the House In 2026 A federal district court found that Texas Republicans’ redistricting proposal is an illegal racial gerrymander. The conservative justices couldn't care less.

The Supreme Court's conservative justices are the most powerful Republican political strategists in the country

Listen I hate Biden as much as the next guy, but for real reasons like appointing Merrick Garland or sending bombs to Israel. Every time someone says shit like "Biden promised he would be a one term president!" or "it's Biden's fault he had narrow legislative margins and an evil SCOTUS" I cry.

The receipts described in the complaint are damning. Text messages between Westport community property owners conspiring to strategically “eliminate ‘problematic’ owners in Westport, and for the purpose of preventing ‘problematic’ people from patronizing Westport.” A secret “No Play List“ banning popular Black artists like Beyoncé, Meg the Stallion, Drake, Cardi B, Kendrick Lamar, Migos, and Travis Scott from being played at venues. Landlords admitting on tape that they had no legal grounds to block a Black restaurateur’s lease, but doing it anyway after the CID intervened. And a twelve-member CID board, every single member white, acting as gatekeepers over who gets liquor licenses and who gets “turned in to Regulated Industries,” the city agency that polices alcohol permits.” If Lee’s claims are proven, this is what a modern conspiracy to permeate segregation throughout a community looks like. Not burning crosses. Not explicit laws. But contracts weaponized as cudgels, liquor licenses held hostage, and music turned into evidence of who deserves to belong. Welcome to what can only be described as a new form of Jim Crow in Kansas City.

This is so fucking wild, man. I never thought about how the shitty music was so fucking consistent between bars and restaurants

Just Six Corporations Remain

Just Six Corporations Remain https://theonion.com/just-six-corporations-remain-1819564741/

That’s a melt not a grilled cheese … also I think they’re doing it to lure Americans into their country

That is a perfectly reasonable approach as well

This is also sex work

I guess technically he made a Mornay sauce because of the cheese but w/e still not how to make a grilled cheese

Well yeah I mean you don’t need the besciamella or pickles it’s literally just cheese, bread, and butter in a grilled cheese and the butter is more so your bread “grills” properly but tbh that seemed secondary to the whole thing

There is absolutely nothing preventing a new D president from dropping a NSS and NDS on Inauguration Day.

(Well, “nothing” is loadbearing and if a new D president hires old D talent it’ll take 18 months of briefcase carrier struggle sessions to produce a draft)

This is sex work

worth saying that some portion of the freed slaves were themselves illegal aliens having been brought illegally into the united states by smugglers. if the birthright clause applies to them, it applies to undocumented immigrants

It’s like Napoleon crowning himself Emperor, but much, much tackier. One thing I’ve learned in the past few years is how cringe is central to the fascist aesthetic.

Someone's been raiding the Miskatonic University archives again.

This is why I feel the “Vance is juiceless & him being in charge is a win position for liberal democracy” is a bad take.

His ideological allies are the most extreme and he’s actually a functional person.

He can stand in front of a camera and give a boring normal sounding address filled with bile

His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Donald J. Trump, VC, DSO, MC, CBE, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular.

If you know anything at all about FIFA you’ll know exactly what I mean

Trump and FIFA deserve each other tbh