RiPPa

Hey MAGA,

Just so you know, if by chance you don't get your #SNAP benefits in November... You can always eat the dogs, the cats, and the pets.

You're welcome.

~ Management

Ha! Honestly, I'm not on here much. 😂

🚨 BREAKING: CDC scientists and researchers have finally discovered the culprit behind childhood and adult queerness. It wasn’t cartoons, rainbow stickers, or drag brunches—it was bubble gum-flavored medicine.

Has anybody "raptured" sent a text to their "unraptured" relatives in shock that Jesus Christ is Black?

It's too bad that Disney isn't bringing Charlie Kirk back, too.

Me: Jimmy Kimmel would still have a show on ABC if Kamala Harris were president.

MAGA: I'm so glad we dodged that bullet.

Me: Too bad Charlie Kirk didn't.

MAGA: %%$&%&@#$^&!!!!

Oh sure, God could’ve stepped in to save Charlie Kirk, but apparently He was too busy being a card-carrying member of Antifa. Guess the Almighty’s just another radical leftist now.

Being white and saying that Charlie Kirk was to white people what Dr. Martin Luther King Jr was to Black people isn't the flex you think it is. But thanks for confirming what we already knew.

Just for the record, it wasn't a bullet that killed Charlie Kirk. It was fentanyl. He was high and he overdosed on that stage in Utah.

Russia, I don't know if you all are reading this, but today would be a perfect day to release the Pee Tape.

Ghislaine Maxwell Not ‘Making Any Friends’ at New Prison Digs The convicted sex offender’s arrival at a Texas facility has been treated as “radioactive,” causing tension among inmates and guards.

Sex offender Ghislaine Maxwell's arrival at a Texas facility has been treated as “radioactive,” causing tension among inmates and guards.

I'm going to pretend that Donald Trump unleashing the military on Washington, DC, to take over isn't meant to distract us from his name being in the Epstein files multiple times. I'm just gonna say he's doing it 'cause the aliens are about to attack and nobody can depend on Ice Cube saving us. 😭

If you think raising wages makes prices go up, congratulations, you already understand tariffs. They’re just taxes on imports, and guess what—you pay them, not China. Trump’s lying, and you’re buying… literally.

Hulk Hogan is dead.

Hulk Hogan was racist.

I don't mourn racists.

Rest in piss, "Brother." 🖕🏿

The #DOGE cuts were a solution in search of a problem, like a guy putting on a condom before getting dressed and checking if he even had a date.

Pardoned Jan. 6 Rioter Sentenced to Life in Assassination Plot Edward Kelley had been convicted of plotting to kill the law enforcement officers who had investigated his case.

Edward Kelley, who was involved in the January 6th Capitol attack and was one of the rioters pardoned by Trump, has been sentenced to life in prison for plotting to murder the FBI agents who investigated him.

Read: is.gd/FEnXco

Big round of applause for the brain-genius MAGAs celebrating “No Tax on Tips” while 16 million people just lost Medicaid. But hey, who needs healthcare when you can keep that extra $3.17 from Applebee’s, right? Priorities.

@velshimsnbc.bsky.social Today's show had a segment on the rise of unemployment for Black women. Where can I rewatch that segment?

Apparently, “obliterated” doesn’t mean what it used to. Because if we're going by modern usage, then yes—last night, I obliterated my wife. It lasted five minutes, give or take. She’s fine. I'm fine. Language is broken. 🤣

When is Trump going to bomb North Korea? 👀

Can one of you call Elon’s drug dealer and ask him why he cut him off? It's too quiet on social media today. They can't just leave us like abandoned kids at McDonald's. We need more drama.

Every time @lawrenceodonnell.msnbc.com calls Donald Trump "stupid," on #LastWord an angel gets its wings. God bless you, sir. 🙏🏿

Who gets to keep the MAGA kids in the divorce? 🤣

George Soros didn't have a public spat with Obama and Biden when they were President.

Can someone call Qatar and tell them to give that man a submersible? 👀

If a tree falls in the woods, and everyone sees Trump chop it down, is it still Biden's fault?

Trump's brain is gone It really should be a bigger story.

"Trump has always been an ignoramus who masks his intellectual shortcomings with bombast and declarations of his own brilliance, but his rambling nonsensical responses in these latest interviews should set off alarms." — @playtyperguy.com

Reminder: The Fifth & Fourteenth Amendments say everyone gets due process. Even people you don’t like. Even Trump. Even you.

The Constitution isn’t a menu. You don’t get to skip the parts that ruin your narrative.

Because if he doesn’t get due process…
Who does?
(Asking for, you know, literally everyone.)