Sophie Blackthorn ❤️‍🩹

I once sat down with a career coach and she asked me about my hopes for my next workplace and I said "I hope they treat me fairly" and she got a bit sad

Diagnosing victims of abuse with a personality disorder is victim blaming, and it does nothing to help the patient move forward and recover from the harm they suffered.

We lose touch with a person's humanity when we view them through the lens of narcissistic or borderline pathology.

#TraumaNotPD

Graph for screen positive for an PD by age and sex showign supposed prevalent of 27% in 16-24 year olds which flattens over coming decades

1 in 4 women screens positive for a 'personality disorder' in young adulthood, yet this rate halves in later years. Attributing these profound difficulties to 'personality'—a supposedly lifelong trait—not only contradicts the data but reflects a misogynistic framing.

#TraumaNotPD 1/5

Hungary banned anything that “promotes homosexuality,” which means Pride.

However, today over 500,000 people in Budapest told the government to fuck off. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

I had the resilience, courage, and self-discipline to leave. It wasn't easy. It wasn't fun either.

So here's a quick reminder: You don't deserve people being mean to you for no reason. You deserve to be supported. You deserve kindness and respect and acceptance. You are resilient. 💜

10/10

“Trust” and “safety” aren’t things to put in a description of how trauma-informed you — or your service — are. They’re qualities to embody. And for those of us who’ve had reason not to trust you, it may take a long time for that to go in. That’s ok. Just keep showing up.

Much the same when we encounter an uncaring or neglectful therapist, unfortunately.

Part of being a trauma informed therapist is not taking it personally when someone who was abused by a coach, priest, teacher, or other mentor doesn't trust you-- maybe for years.

Hypervigilance stemming from betrayal trauma is not a "choice."

Truth tellers in toxic families, churches & communities are almost always scapegoated-- & scapegoats in toxic systems are almost always truth tellers.

Because a survivor is injured or struggling doesn't mean they do not have valid, important truths to tell.

I cannot overstate the damage done by generations of therapists who understood their assignment as “make this person more ‘normal.’”

Thank you for sharing this, I enjoyed reading it. This stuff is hard and takes a lot of figuring out!

The backlash against self diagnosis makes me think that if doctors were imposing autism diagnoses on us against our will, instead of validating a belief we already had, that would be fine apparently.

This isn't about diagnosis rates, it's about autistic people's thoughts being worth something.

Hey Steve! Thank you, and good luck to you too!

Some exciting news! I just got an allotment 🥳

I think we'd been on the waiting list for four years. We haven't gotten the keys yet, so it still doesn't feel real. But I can't wait to get started!

Progress will be slow and steady because of chronic illness, but all in good time.

If you’re on #DisabilityBenefits, it’s ok to have hobbies, holidays, food deliveries, and so on. Benefits exist so disabled people can live safely, independently, with quality of life. Don’t let government rhetoric make you feel guilty for existing.

"Stop bursting our bubble of blissful ignorance, how dare you"

#3GoodThings

1. Absolutely beaut weather here in sunny Hull at the moment
2. My partner is off work for a week from Friday
3. I'm taking a course at the moment and getting a lot out of it—challenging but meaningful

I was going to say something similar. Some therapists really do feel inconvenienced by us. But it shouldn't be that way and it says more about them than us.

Sending love and solidarity this weekend to anyone who struggles with Mother's Day for whatever reason.

Shut out the world and do something nice for yourself if you need to. You're allowed to feel sad or angry. It's okay to feel it, whatever it is. You're okay ❤️‍🩹

Narcissistic therapist? A nuanced guide for concerned patients. Abuse is a result of the therapist’s power, not their narcissism. But narcissism drives a need for power.

Within the therapeutic relationship, the therapist must be able to control their self-serving behaviours and defensive reactions. They should be able to centre you and your needs. As patients, that’s a big part of what we’re paying for.

sophieblackthorn.substack.com/p/narcissist...

The psychotherapy profession is at its worst when it is denying & minimizing the experiences & needs of people who have survived things that most people cannot fathom (& therefore assume don't "really" happen).

Love this! I like Wild Phase the best.

I'm glad that's helpful for you. I think I know what you mean. We can get so down on ourselves when we're unable to keep up with the pace of life and work. But there are valid reasons for it, and we still have plenty to offer.

Baby steps. I'll get to where I want to be eventually :)

Thanks Joy. It's so hard, isn't it! In the simplest terms, my problem is high capability vs. low capacity. I want to do so much and feel like I have lots to contribute, but I'm just so tired all the time and burn out or get overwhelmed very easily. It's hard to know where I fit 😕

Haha, hope it works!

Now you should write a huge to-do list for the blog, and then maybe you'll procrastinate by writing the PhD thing instead 😄

I'm trying to take small steps back towards employment.

Sometimes, I feel completely unable and desperately anxious about even the smallest things. Other days, my head is full of hopes and dreams for my future.

I wish I could stay in that good place, but I have so many traumatic memories of work.

If the therapist has perfectionist tendencies or needs to be seen as "one of the good ones" who is completely safe and trustworthy, it can force the client to swallow their concerns and leave ruptures unaddressed, and then resentment builds. (2/2)

Yes, that makes sense to me, Joy. Being invited to give feedback and knowing that the therapist can handle that feedback are very important, especially after previous harmful experiences. (1/2)