Eduardo García-Molina

Closest I got to that was banging my head on tables while writing the diss.

Don't mind me, updating my language for my ancient empires course.

Ancient imperial iconography, like this relief of Xerxes I, frequently plays with size to make the ruler appear larger than subjects, displaying an ancient appreciation for the power of frame mogging.

Reject live market predictions for news, return to tradition, live(r) market predictions for news.

Sega Genesis with two controllers and sonic the hedgehog 2

One of our grads came to my office and asked if I wanted to take a Sega Genesis off their hands that their family found while cleaning. The “fuck yeah” could not escape my mouth quick enough.

Broke: Cat Owner

Woke: Cat Dad

Bespoke: αἰλουροβοσκός, ailouroboskos ("herder of the sacred cats") *

*A position for slaves of a temple of Bastet attested to in a Ptolemaic document.

Yes, misogyny plays a large part, I just did not expect it to be so twinkish.

Fascinated by the growing trend of Retvrn to Tradition conservatism skipping over aesthetic things like statues and diving headfirst into almost comical levels of Greek and Roman homoeroticism over the male body.

I yearn for a time of even pseudo-accountability for senators.

You want me to looksmax? The thing that killed Narcissus?

Yes, he might have been a corrupt politician, but he's *my* corrupt politician.

Course explorer course description: Sallust - “Plain and abrupt, hostile to eloquence, ostensibly archaic but in truth artful, insidious, innovatory.” This is how the Roman historian Ronald Syme described the style of Sallust, considered even in antiquity to be one of the greatest historians Rome produced. In this class, we will be reading his Bellum Catilinae, an account of the machinations of the Roman statesman Lucius Sergius Catilina, to explore Sallust’s unique historiographical style. Through close readings of the Latin text, students will gain a deeper mastery of non-standard syntax and archaic vocabulary, while discussing the blurred lines between biography, rhetoric, political thought, and history exemplified in the conflicted figure of Cataline and the overarching setting of a Republican Rome in moral decay and civil strife.

Teaching a class on Sallust has always been a goal of mine since I took John Marincola's class on him. A bit surreal to see it now on course explorer for fall 2026. I will do my best to raise awareness of Sallustian superiority.

Screw whatever this is and go talk to the deceased the proper way: find one of the entrances to Hades by consulting a mystic, pour a libation of milk and sweet wine, and promise to sacrifice your prized heifer to the chthonic deities and spirits.

Lunar New Year Romans using
in 2026 consuls to
date their years
during the reign
of Caligula
🤝
Year of the Horse

Also Latin students when you ask them for the genitive and dative singular and nominative plural endings of first declension nouns:

Ancient Greek students when you ask them the nominative plural ending for first declension nouns:

Admittedly a partial Spartan agoge simulator was not on my 2026 bingo card.

Entering my Quellenkritikritik phase.

Living in such a crazy timeline that something like the Historia Augusta feels like a credible, nuanced source.

Teaching classes, but thinking about Mewgenics.

Agree, I can, however, see him with an air fryer.

Sisyphean gaming reception continues with Imagine Sisyphus Happy, an idle clicker where Sisyphus livestreams his trial. A mixture of the rise-and-grind mindset and cynical, cyclical online content creation, Sisyphus has found a resurgence digitally. Oh yeah and Thucydides is in the livestream.

Well media literacy was also laid off at the Post.

And the light blue flag!

And yes, Classicist, you did hear the Rubicon being mentioned by Bad Bunny. The line goes “Getting all the potholes on the Rubicon,” referencing the dismal infrastructure in PR alongside the utility poles failing.

Posters writing “Bad Bunny didn’t even have to get political, joy was enough” while Ricky Martin sang “Don’t let them do to you what happened in Hawaii.”

Ovid’s Metamorphoses:

Also synchronized political messaging on power lines! Entire show was an amazing tribute.

Only excuse to watch the Super Bowl is for the halftime show and an excuse to do a Puerto Rican spread of sandwichitos de Mezcla, tostones, empanadillas, and mantecaditos. Might fall into a coma immediately after.

RIP Cronus/Saturn, you would've loved finding and eating the baby in a king cake.