Ross W Berman IV (Philosopher Pirate)

People seem to be up in arms about Shark Tale’s Martin Scorsese being in the new Star Wars

Fat Tuesday is one of the most sacred Culture Vulture holidays.

Laissez les bons temps rouler

RIP Robert Duvall.

He gave me a signed picture from the set of Lonesome Dove for my bar mitzvah (present from a family member of his). I always appreciated it but it also confused the hell out of all of my friends because i was the only teenager who had ever heard of Lonesome Dove.

“Look Pete, I’m busy. You ever hear of Vietnam?”

Mad Men spin-off about Russ at the Department of Defense, whose work stopping communism keeps getting derailed by calls from Pete Campbell to, yet again, look into some Korean War vet

A ½ review of Wonka (2023) Awful. Just utterly terrible. Bad songs, forced sentimentality, musical numbers that move like AI prompts, Shawn Levy-esque riffing, a lazy pastiche of Mary Poppins, Doctor Who, and Harry Potter, fill...

Awful

boxd.it/d7rgAv

Finally watching Wonka

Hot Dog place is playing “Sunday, Bloody Sunday.” I need to finish my food before they get to the “we eat and drink, while tomorrow they die” line and I feel bad

A ★★½ review of The Dutchman (2025) “She can make you steal, make you rob Give you the hives, make you lose your job Make things bad, she can make things worse She got stuff more potent than a gypsy curse” -Bob Dylan, Robert Hunter, and...

A bozo-brained, elevated horror take on Dutchman, that literally has Amiri Baraka’s play, and Baraka himself, haunt the film like a cursed text.

My ★★½ review of The Dutchman: boxd.it/d6WJ3t

Batshit crazy and dumb as hell. Kate Mara and Andre Holland are so good in the last twenty minutes that it just made me angry it’s not just a straight adaptation of the play.

Ok, never mind. The play is basically a character in the film. My issues have been salved.

Already nervous that there’s a third credit on a two person play, but here we go

Every other episode has featured a bike accident and Dr. Robby’s just like

Biker guy on The Pitt: “Four wheels moves the body but two wheels moves the *soul.* You’re gonna be in *heaven.* The trip sounds to *die* for.”

Dr. Robby: “Yes I think I will live a long time.”

Anytime there is AI Movie news

"Meet the new face of America: He's sterile, addicted to crystal meth, and constantly hitting himself in the face with a hammer."

Revisited Masked & Anonymous, and it's pretty crazy how Dylan was pretty much exactly on the pulse of the 21st Century, but just like 20 years early.

There are at least three Oscar nominees that sound like Troy McClure movies.

Afraid to start the Dutchman remake because the original is a pretty perfect stage-to-screen adaptation

A ★★★★½ review of Primate (2025) “Me and my monkey With a dream and a gun I'm hoping my monkey don't point that gun at anyone” -Robbie Williams An aggressively 80s bit of schlock. Incredibly gnarly deaths, an ersatz John Carpenter sc...

Like any great horror movie, Primate rides that razor’s edge between terrible and genius. I think this might be a modern classic.

My ★★★★½ review of Primate: boxd.it/d59kSp

Pretty incredible how much of the movie is just this

There’s a 360 needle drop in this and no matter how many times I hear the song, I still hear the lyric as “wear Kangols”

It’s Angry Monkey Movie time

I like that the last two Super Bowl Halftime shows have been Spike Lee-influenced in one way or another. Let's keep that going.

“You know, Bill, when you get hit like that, you don’t want to go down, but you just go down because you were hit.”

“That’s right, and getting hit is gonna stop you from scoring points, which is what it’s all about. The team with the points is gonna win.”

“I love this game.”

While you all focus on 22 men on the football field, I’ve been watching 13 Lives in a Thai cave, and the crazy divers who saved them🫡

I can’t explain it but Green Day singing American Idiot while Tom Brady, Payton Manning, and others wave awkwardly from the stage felt like a Simpsons bit…but like Zombie Simpsons…like there’s a b-plot where Lisa protests the game with Neil Gaiman going on right now.

*dramatic strings swell*
“Everyone who plays in the Super Bowl is standing on the shoulders of giants, who play on the shoulders of giants, for generations of fans that have stood on the shoulders of giants. The NFL: Where the shoulders of giants stand on the shoulders of gian-.”