Javi

I feel so completely out of control it’s insane

I need to find some old ed tumblr diets or smthn to follow cuz im st my ropes end here. Anyone have any old screenshots 🫠

Dinner/omad last night was four chicken nuggets and an orange cream vizzy. Rlly taking care of myself here

I haven’t weighed myself all week I’m both proud of myself and terrified to see what it’s gonna be when I get home

One time my friends friend accidentally took a hit of a dmt pen instead of her dab pen while she was getting ready for work. Luckily it only lasts like 15 minutes so she wasn’t even late for work afterwards lmao

False alarm guys I somehow weigh a whole lb less than I did before I got sick. Wouldn’t be surprised if I lost it all in the form of mocos cuz ts is ROUGH

Not only did I get sick but I gained two pounds in gonna kms🫠 I hope it’s mostly water because all Ive been doing is drinking water and gatorlyte

I’m sick today :(

Like I ASK FOR FEEDBACK BECAUSE YOU DO THIS ALL THE TIME!!! If you don’t want to hand hold me, I need you to actually trust I know how to do my fucking job

Me: hi boss, here are the photos I want to send for an article being done on our company any feedback?
Boss: whatever you would like to do!
Me: cool! *sends photos to writer*
Her: hey so you actually need to think about the photos you sent because *insert feedback* I don’t want to handhold you

God I remember when it was legalized and celebrating at an impromptu pride celebration with my dad. The world felt so hopeful and bright that day. Despair isn’t a big enough word to describe all the feeling I’m feeling rn 🫠

Today’s super glamorous breakfast at work is protein oatmeal 289 cals plus a Celsius

I might give it a shot! I’m afraid they won’t prescribe me anything anymore since I didn’t refill the contrave but it was so expensive 😭😭😭

We’ll always be strangers

What a desolate feeling, loving someone and just having to give up having any deep kind of relationship because they can only handle enablers and yes men. At least my other sister did get to enjoy and know a close relationship with her. She has some kind of memory with her. I don’t at all.

Like I didn’t realize how much this actually hurt until now because I think I was used to it but this weekend really made it obvious but we’re basically strangers and she’s at a point where it’s not worth bringing up to her cuz she’s just going to be defensive and not actually listen

To go from being told that our parents wouldn’t let us get close as kids and thinking she was so cool and I couldn’t wait to get closer to her as I got older like I did with my other sister just to see her not give a single fuck abt me anytime we’re together like WTF

Watching your sister do all the things you guys criticized your mom for doing growing up but somehow worse while also being so unhealed from childhood that she refuses to see how her actions affect others and only how things affect her AND you can’t say ANYTHING to her because she flips out is rough

I need to buy workout clothes I’ll actually feel comfortable in so I’m more likely to be consistent. I mean the chafing is great motivation but I’m not being very effective like that

What do you take? I got prescribed contrave for a bit but it cost too much to refill for me at the time so I only got it once and it was so hard to swallow those huge ass pills 😭

I didn’t expect to find my dress already but somehow I did and when I showed it to my sister she had such disinterested and snarky energy. I don’t know why I bother with her anymore. This whole weekend besides hanging with my mom was such a bust

I’m not even expecting much from bridesmaids other than showing up for the day in any formal wear they feel comfy in and call it a day but I don’t think I can trust my sister to show up on time and not be negative lmao

On good news: I managed to restrict and not over eat this weekend. On bad news: my sister is a hot mess and I don’t think I’ll make her a bridesmaid

Lmaooo it’s like thanks for getting it all done at once I guess but gimme a damn minute to process 😭

Nothing is more triggering than my family 😭

Oh my god my mom has lost so much weight and my sister and cousin are so much tinier than me I feel like a fucking giant this is so embarrassing

I went in for an adhd diagnosis and left with ptsd AND adhd 🫠

Plus a comically long straw cuz that’s all they had

I’m at the airport so I’ve allowed myself a lil treat in the form of a lavender iced latte

My right knee is always cracking so much man wtf