•tristan (26)

I had a CLOSED bag of durian candy in my bedroom overnight 1 year ago in a different apartment and I swear to god I still get whiffs of it sometimes when I walk into my room, like it permanently adhered itself to my belongings

Things have been going bad 👍

Thinking about this messy boy I saw online today! So cute

11•14
Day 4/10
493/500 cal + 3 beers
I didn't drink enough water

Exploiting my favorite loophole of buying beer with no nutrition label = I lie to myself and pretend it has no calories

And I can't exercise it off if someone's over. And I'm fat. There is no good solution

Boyfriend is gonna have a friend over. I'm shy without a drink. Can't really afford to spend the cals on it though. Unless I can convince myself to make a new rule that social drinks don't count. But that's kind of ridiculous. Less ridiculous than isolating myself though...

11•13
day 3/10
❌4 apples... Then I binged again. Different trigger than usual. Just gonna leave it in the past this time.

Lol literally

Patiently waiting for the rice to cook even though I'm not eating any.....
I just want to, idk, hang out with it

I feel somehow feel guilty about eating 492 c4lories the other day even though my goal was 500. I should have ended it closer to 450.
Isn't that stupid? Objectively that's stupid isn't it

11•12
342/300 caʟ + exercise
day 2/10

Lately I have been having fun and exciting dreams... A welcome change of pace from my usual nightly rotation of Apocalypse, Abandonment, Childhood School and Hospital Hallways

I'm not a violent cat. I don't know why I scratch.

I fell off for too many days. Starting from the top...
sw:151

11•11
day 1/10
493/500 caʟ

sorry for the long vent. on my vent account

I smoked a joint and changed my mind. ㅇCD is stupid and I no longer have it. I'm going to have a banh mi for lunch

I hope I feel super fucking normal after a joint. Otherwise I will be back with 10 more vent posts about my stupid fucking loser brain

I can't even be ED-normal and be like "any deficit is a good deficit" NO I HAVE TO DO THE RITUALS PERFECTLY BECAUSE THE 0CD IS VERY LOUD

I did a much harder 10 day diet on here before with only 2 consecutive binge days so this level of performance is unacceptable

Made the same mistake twice. A good day with a lot of caffeine and then a sugar binge at night. This time was worse, I was still snacking after midnight, ruining the next day's cal count too. Really hate that. That's 3 binge days in a row on a 10 day diet. Should I just start over on it?

Last night I had beer and candy and cookies and pastries and turkey bacon and rice and buttered crackers...

Bad choices for sure but still within my TDEE of ~2000 cals so I'm not going to let it ruin my day (manifesting)

11•08
❌ Maintenance (I binged)

I want to go a little crazy... unfortunately I can only go a big crazy.

Guilty of buying a bunch of junk food while/because I'm restricting 🤔🤔🤔 why am bad at being normal

The fall air is immaculate today. Crispy like an apple

Beat the 1am cravings last night with a pickle, a candy, and tea ✌️ for 32cals. It was almost bad

11•06
494/500 caʟ

4/10

I just weighed a q cup of rice and it is indeed ~45g so it would only make sense for that to be dry. Before is my final answer lol

No, wait. Before. Sorry. My brain is rotting