Matthew Tate

Disabled veteran who is a U.S. citizen taken during Camarillo immigration raid

Doing my first public show in six months tomorrow night! Come check it out, Huntsville!

Ol' Gavin Greusome is at it again. The transphobic, xenophobic governor of California wants you to know he and his buddy Trump think human rights are distracting.

Gavin Greusome

250 years ago today, Paul Revere rode to warn the colonists of the British invasion, coining the immortal phrase "One if by land, two in the pink."

I know I'm about a half century late, but I think it's really messed up that Billy Joel had to watch that old man fuck a gin & tonic.

Ever since Casey Anthony has been back in the news, I've had to explain to a few younger people who exactly she is.
I usually start with "Casey Anthony USED to be a milf."

Blue Cross is now offering a rewards program.
I wish they'd just reward us with consistent coverage.

We're sharing a boat with a bunch of idiotic psychopaths.

DJT is a megalomaniacal narcissist, and he's still angry about being rejected in 2020. Men like him don't handle rejection well. They try to destroy whoever rejected them. In this case, it's the USA.

It blows my mind that Republicans can buy into shit like Jewish space lasers, nuking hurricanes, vaccines tracking people, and pizzaganda, yet can't wrap their head around the concept of the current administration intentionally destroying our country, despite the proof being right in front of them.

I wonder how long before he signs an executive order renaming it to the "United States of Tesla".

Some folks in the 80s asked "what if R.E.M. sounded as terrible and were as pretentious and cringe as U2?" and in the 90s, we got the band Live.

Remember a little over a decade ago when all these rich folks were getting acquitted for some of the most heinous crimes imaginable because they had "affluenza"- a condition that apparently means having so much money that you don't understand the concept of your actions having consequences?

The problem has never been that poor people are "parasites". The problem is and has always been that we don't hold rich people to the same level of accountability (behaviorally or fiscally) in this country.

It feels weird to keep referring to the Constitution as a "living, breathing document" while it's being strangled.

Zuck and co. have just added "Prison Life Simulator" to the Meta Horizon Worlds for his company's VR headsets. He's really buying into this whole dystopia thing, isn't he?

I made a silly thing.

Me: *starts fisting the garbage disposal with a shotgun in my mouth*

Everyone else playing this game of Charades: OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Me: No, I'm sorry. The answer was "A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway."

Still booking private shows in 2025! It was good to be back on stage again.

Ay, where can I stream the first season of that Cory Booker speech?

Made Paneer Saag at home for the first time. It turned out really well!

What happened to our current administration being concerned about "violent rapists coming into our country", huh?

My weird stalker of 10+ years is back at it again with another throwaway number and more phone harassment after countless times of telling him to stop contacting me.
Probably turning off my phone for the weekend. Again.

The guy in charge of our military drunk-texting top secret military plans to a reporter somehow isn't even surprising anymore.

People like this (and I have one in the family, unfortunately) need to start having their kids taken away by the state.

Food Banks Left in the Lurch as U.S.D.A. Shipments Are Suspended A representative of a nationwide food pantry network, said U.S.D.A. officials had informed him that some food aid distributed by the federal government was under review.

Trump suspends shipments of produce and poultry to US food banks:

www.nytimes.com/2025/03/20/u...

Science has definitively proven that the best smell in existence is bacon being cooked, so why do we even make fragrances that smell like anything else?

It's so flattering, but it still feels weird when people still occasionally recognize and tell me they're a fan now that performing just isn't a part of my life anymore. It really felt like a different person who spent so much of their time doing that.