𓂃⋆.⟢ 𝖔𝖕𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖎𝖆 ⟢ .⋆𓂃

first days of the semester, and I'll be starting it the right way: with a 36h fast to feel clean and light it the crisp winter air

costume is in the works... we'll see if I get it together in time haha

no, but I'd still try to climb it just to be sure haha

been struggling to come up with a good costume for my friends' haloween party. need to figure this out quick

yes, creating feels so good

want me to send you a link?

a forum (eatingdisordercentral). very fun, though sometimes a bit slow ig lol

also been way more active on edc. it's nice there. I have my own thread where I ramble about my intake and activity and my struggles. everyone's so supportive and nice there.

been dropping weight again. reached my lowest weight in years. I'm ecstatic.

insomnia my bane

what's wild is they've already faded lol I swear they and my loose skin are the bane of my existence

shoulders and stretch marks going crazy

been busy.
dropping weight.
my heel is doing kind of better.
been walking.

(not maintaining my streak is getting to me ugh)

lost 2.9 kg, partially because of my period ending and also me just locking in ig
uni is consuming me and my time and I don't mind

found this on my phone today. slay.

been walking so much my achilles heel is irritated, brilliant

I should focus all my energy on researching for uni,
All desire is gone, unleafed, my books now summon me

overcast and alone, muddled days like these
filled by maddened womb, sanguinolent disease
woke to binge last night, consumed by glut
insides hinged wide, swallowed up a lot
sought to self-reflect beyond familiar shame
it bestows no blessings, no change, only more or less the same

second that

done designing the costume and buying materials
I'm forbidden from spending any more money next month unless for meds ugh
broke my fast after 20 something hrs, ate (786 c.) and now it's back to nothing but water

started designing the costume for my friend's bd party then got distracted scrolling through my favourite board (glad to to not have been sussed in all this time)

finally got something to show for it
༄༄༄ blood ༄༄༄ flood ༄༄༄

woke up to the sun peaking through my curtains
sweet cat purring in the crook of my knees
my womb cramping but nothing to show for
haunted by a feeling of fullness
14 hours into a fast

feel like remaining empty for a while
20 hours meditating on nothing
might finally finish 𝓂𝒶𝓂𝒶 𝒹𝒶𝓎

Lionel Balestrieri 1910

"Decadent" by Ramon Casas 1899

Emma Sparre 1890

"After Breakfast" by Elin Kleopatra Danielson-Gambogi 1890

weekend vibe

craving community the last year off that maniacs hell-site.
time to find those who cherish, as I do, mind over body.
26 yo carib-german trying desperately to consume myself whole since 13.
I read and write a lot.
go on many walks and treat my body as sanctum, except when not.