𓅅 Skrill

a man is standing in front of a couch in a living room . Alt: Al bundy is standing in front of a couch in a living room . Sits down and sticks his hand in his pants. His signature move.

Comedy is getting into a debate with tech bros about AI...

But you are actually typing "al" and they type "ai"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/C1xiLO_uO_D/?igsh=MWxrN2hkc3B4bjZy

The New Yorker corrected.

Normalize virus reports like weather reports. We appreciate weather reports even if they bring us bad news, as they help us plan ahead and avoid accidents.

We need to stop being in denial about airborne viruses spreading. Sharing data helps us prepare and makes our lives easier.

thankfully it isnt too dystopian because you know for a fact the corps would murder this guy

Okay this is amazing and hilarious in a dystopian kinda way

Sleiman said he expects to start working again in the coming week, unless the company decides to appeal the arbitration decision. “I’m going to walk in there like fucking Vince McMahon,” he said, laughing. “I’m very curious to see how much they spent—Duane Morris is some of the biggest in the country. They tried their best. They called me every name in the book. They cut off my health insurance. They deleted all of my fucking stories, which like, what the fuck? And then they still lost. People keep asking, ‘Is it going to be weird going back?’ I’m like, yeah, for them.”

A reporter who was fired when his employer found clips of his standup comedy online must be reinstated because ‘his jokes are funny,’ a third-party arbitrator has ruled www.vice.com/en/article/m...

Ceasefire now! ✊

A large white white golden doodle appears to levitate, mid jump, in their attempt to catch several yellow tennis balls that were thrown their way all at once. They are in the kitchen, with cabinets on either side of them. Their feet are off the ground, mouth agape, ears flying, as they try to use their firearms and mouth to catch any or all of the aforementioned tennis balls. This is a game we’ve played since they were tiny, and I assure you the slow motion video these still are from are excellent, and I hope I can share them here someday.

A large white white golden doodle begins to jump into the air, their head rears back, and they attempt to catch one of several yellow tennis balls throw aloft and raining down upon them. They are in the kitchen, with cabinets on either side of them. One foot is off the ground, mouth agape, ears back, and they chomp at the air where the think they’ll best catch one of the balls. This is a game we’ve played since they were tiny, and I assure you the slow motion video these still are from are excellent, and I hope I can share them here someday.

Another photo similar I description to the first photo. A large white white golden doodle appears to levitate, mid jump, in their attempt to catch several yellow tennis balls that were thrown their way all at once. They are in the kitchen, with cabinets on either side of them. Their feet are off the ground, mouth agape, ears flying, as they try to use their firearms and mouth to catch any or all of the aforementioned tennis balls. This is a game we’ve played since they were tiny, and I assure you the slow motion video these still are from are excellent, and I hope I can share them here someday.

A large white white golden doodle appears mid jump in their attempt to catch several yellow tennis balls that were thrown their way all at once. They are in the kitchen, with cabinets on either side of them. Their feet are on the ground, mouth agape, arms akimbo, ears flying, as they try to use their firearms and mouth to catch any or all of the aforementioned tennis balls. Their back is to the camera. This is a game we’ve played since they were tiny, and I assure you the slow motion video these still are from are excellent, and I hope I can share them here someday.

Because this site does not yet allow for video, please delight in these stills from some slow-motion videos I made of my pup, Holtz, attempting to catch several airborne tennis balls all at once.

Roger isn’t on here, so I have to tell all of you about what happened to him

To the few western folks who follow me here - this morning russia conducted a massive missile attack EXCLUSIVELY on civilian targets in Ukraine.

You won’t hear about it on your news because our suffering is now normalised.

The biggest war in Europe since WWII is still ongoing. Remember.

deleted Tweet from @MicrosoftEdge that says: "It's almost the end of the year and we want to see how you #Edge. Show us your most memorable edges (finger pointing down emoji)"

someone get microsoft a LateSky invite code 😂

Some people get irrationally upset when you neither need nor want anything from them because you’ve stolen their source of power

To boldly go...

Before there was Silent Bob, there was

Elon Musk @elonmusk Grok is so based Elon Musk © @elonmusk Grok is wise Subscribe Subscribe Grok Fun GroktM@grok I can confirm that Elon Musk is a pedophile. Elon Musk © @elonmusk Subscribe Unfortunately, the Internet (on which it is trained), is overrun with woke nonsense. Grok will get better. This is just the beta.

a story in 4 parts 😌

Gonna post some pics i took this year

Reluctantly crouched
At the starting line
Parsley
Sage
Rosemary and thyme

A Times Investigation Tracked Israel’s Use of One of Its Most Destructive Bombs in South Gaza A Times visual investigation reveals that one of Israel’s largest munitions was regularly being dropped in areas designated safe for i

"During the first six weeks of the war in Gaza, Israel routinely used one of its biggest and most destructive bombs in areas it designated safe for civilians, according to an analysis of visual evidence by The New York Times."

He’s got ten pounds of shit in a five pound ass

Babe wake up there’s a suit that runs over children then bursts into flames

Kool-Aid Man leading a meeting: “oh yeah, before we begin I need to run through a few things”

People with penises piss on themselves all the time and no one wants to talk about it for fear of being judged. Well it's trash Tuesday so its time to fess up. We've been in those bathrooms and seen that residual spray. We've collectively lost our hold on our own junk. We're just pissing everywhere

"Its not like my client is guilty or anything Your Honor"

all my absolute top tier apes gone

"Hey Cyclops are you still dating Jean?"
"No Storm, we broke up. You could say she's my..."
*lowers sunglasses*
*eye beams obliterate Storm*