Matt Rooke

It’s one of those sports where it makes such a difference if you see it in the flesh. Watching someone jump *eight metres* side on is mindblowing.

Oh, that’s *clever*. And lovely!

Coral background with faint heart illustrations. A glossy male Blackbird with a bright yellow bill faces left. Large title reads: “Birds as bad exes*” Smaller text reads: “*Yes, you read that right.”

Happy Valentine’s Day, from us to you. Tag your exes. Xoxox

Great shout! Bill Bailey’s a good sort and very popular.

What I will say about that is that while Weezer’s cover of Africa is lovely, Toto’s cover of Hash Pipe slays.

Since Real Actual Ted Danson appeared on Beef and Dairy Network, I have believed that anything is possible.

Yes. In at least one case, the prospective incoming MP mailed all local students promising to vote against it… and then voted for it. So it’s revealed a UK democratic system flaw as well as being unsatisfactory to all stakeholders!

“The book of my enemy has been remaindered”

*Outstanding* choice. That might be the very last CD of mine I’d give up.

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(that was very rude of me, I mean “entirely appropriate)

Borderline forgivable use of the word “iconic” as well, which is rare!

Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce in the mummies’ race every year

Oh, is that where that came from? I get confused sometimes.

May I please have some free driving lessons with that?

Will they now have a better chance of starring roles in the professional show dances, dancing next to “Sunday” musical acts, and so on? That wouldn’t be a bad pay-off.

Went speed dating once. By final (10th?) table was bored of telling truth, went straight to “marine biologist” and spun tales of the majestic creatures of the deep. Got on like a house on fire despite (because of?) date immediately recognising that it was fake. Hard recommend.

Do you think there’s any chance that the early “very online” indicators were released before the people in charge were aware of their potential significance?

Fantastic! What a shame about the typo in the cast list, which should start Forbes Masson (The High Life), Siobhán Redmond (The High Life)…

Ooh, have you found a new axis of variation? I’m a Progressive Activist Liberal ButComeOnThisThingWasUniqueMaybePunishThemHarder?-ist

But I’m thinking head first in Satan’s central mouth isn’t overdoing it

I have Opinions about exactly where in Hell the person who decided that Song 2 was an appropriate tune for moments of sporting triumph belongs

Oh, stop spoiling the fun and keep on rockin’ in the free world…

My thoughts exactly. Done.
Dare I ask… on these 99p hyper-bargains, where does the money go? And where does the lack of money go, if you see what I mean?

No no, you’re correct about everything

a man and a woman are dancing in a room with the words we 're future sailors written on the wall ALT: a man and a woman are dancing in a room with the words we 're future sailors written on the wall

Iceland all day

Just don’t come complaining to me about the noises above

I am on holiday in the Lake District to get away from it all and found out about Dubai chocolate in Keswick Co-op!

“You will be able to hear the sound it’s really making, for the first time.”

Digging into this now! Early signs are that someone’s veil gon’ get rent

“You were doing ninety-seven miles an hour, sir!”

“Oh great, now I’m completely lost”

Gentlemen, to bed!