Mixed Metaphors

The primary use case for voice mails is deleting them.

In rare cases it's the final message from a loved one moments before their plane went down, and accidentally deleting that voice mail would be a tragedy.

But every other voice mail should be immediately deleted with as few clicks as possible.

And, seriously, this reveals an underlying problem of technology as it exists today. Every single thing is a desperate individualized attention-sucking island with no regard to the broader tech ecosystem where it lives. Icons cry out in existential anguish: "did you really mean to exit?"

I realize this is a tiny nothingness in the world of problems.

But--and I really feel this deep in my shriveled soul--the primary point and fundamental metaphor of all app UX design can be boiled down to: how many clicks?

How⁉️ Many⁉️Clicks⁉️

I dislike when apps ask "did you mean to exit this app" before exiting.

Either: I did mean to exit, and the app just forced me to do an extra click for nothing.

Or: I did *not* mean to exit, but reopening the app would have also only been one click, so it didn't save me any clicks.

I've also felt that comedies are not served by the streaming model of realeasing all 6/8/10 episodes at once. Any flaws are built into the entire season. Network television's week-by-week approach allows room to gauge audience response and make some tweaks each week.

HEY GUYS I got my first skull!💀

Instead of working on my book this morning I wrote a 1000 word mock essay on the difference between pre-, post-, and in-medias-res-apocalyptic fiction. I don't know why. #amwriting?

I've been doing laundry today and I keep thinking to myself "kookaburra keeping tidy."

I don't think I've ever really struggled to navigate a bookshop (except maybe The Strand in NYC which seems intentionally difficult to navigate) but I'd definitely sign up for this course. I can always learn more.

I kind of don't want to cook my meals with them and instead just want to eat them one by one to test them out.

***

Okay I just ate one of those long purple ones while walking around the kitchen saying "oh my God" over and over because it was so good.

Five groups of tomatoes are displayed on a white plastic cutting board. One big red heirloom, 6 light orange small tomatoes, 6 even smaller red grape tomatoes, 4 small dark purple tomatoes, and 4 green/purple oval tomatoes that look like no tomatoes I've ever seen before.

Look at this gorgeous array of tomatoes I got at the farm stand. I don't even recognize some of these as tomatoes but I'm not going to argue with them.

I'm at the halfway point right now and feel exactly this way.

I really loved this book and went on from there to read Deacon King Kong and The Good Lord Bird which were also fantastic.

Yes, absolutely. Something similar happened with the Game of Thrones TV show.

There is often a subgroup that wants "their thing" to simultaneously be treated as art and *also* be accepted uncritically. But no art is accepted uncritically. Treating something critically is how it's accepted as art.

I'm reading North Woods by Daniel Mason and it is really good.

When this first came across my feed, the vid didn't show up for some reason. So I just saw a context-free "kookaburra keeping today" post, and I nodded along. It made perfect sense to me. I think that's a good catchphrase.

Someone had a minor heart event that required stopping the film and bringing in the paramedics during the bear fight scene of The Revenant. Does that count?

The tarantula-on-the-face scene in Home Alone. The audience (primarily junior high school kids) was *screaming.*

I've never heard such a fear reaction before or since, not even in actual horror movies.

I, for one, fell off my seat laughing. (Not at the scene, but at the reaction of my friends.)

This is great. A touch of humor and devastatingly sad, a complicated structure for such a short piece, layers of meaning. I really love it.

And now for some nonfiction! Very pleased to have this short essay about remembering and forgetting up in the beautiful Pictura Journal today. It’s one that’s very close to my heart.

That was fun!

I'm so so so excited to have a story in Malarkey. They are a wonderful press and I've read and loved so many of their short fiction collections. (Subscribe to their book club!!!)

Please read and share my story if you are so inclined and please forgive my use of too many exclamation marks!!!

7 Books That Break the Confines of Plot - Electric Literature Calling these books “plotless” ignores their radical storytelling

You call it "lacking of plot." I call it "excluding the unnecessary."

"It gives you a little hope about the world, doesn't it? That a [star could have partial black hole spaghettification] smashed into its skull, and yet live on for one whole day."

Adapted from David Ives' short play "Variations on the Death of Trotsky"

You can't wage multiple grammatical battles against Strunk and White without having read it first.

Jim Harrison

There's a story about Samuel Beckett I love.

A stagehand was manipulating a door on set and Beckett questioned him about it. The person said, "The stage directions call the door 'imperceptibly ajar' and I'm trying to get it right."

Beckett closed the door and said, "Now it's imperceptible."

This is your cue to make a cup of coffee and read this wonderful story!

Written by @mixedmetaphors.bsky.social one of my favourite human beings ever and published by the amazing @malarkeybooks.bsky.social

📚💙 ☕️

Thank you so much!!! I've made so many pour-overs this morning in honor of this story being published that I'm jittery.

I'm so so so excited to have a story in Malarkey. They are a wonderful press and I've read and loved so many of their short fiction collections. (Subscribe to their book club!!!)

Please read and share my story if you are so inclined and please forgive my use of too many exclamation marks!!!