Showtime at the El Sleazo

“Y’all still here? Yeah. Well. It’s hard to get raptured with the president’s dick in your mouth.” Picture of a crocheted doll with a mullet and a cigarette hanging out her mouth.

I truly don’t understand the people who think teachers telling children how to run, hide, and fight during school shootings is normal but think a teacher acknowledging that someone has two moms or two dads is indoctrination.

We planned to take my co-parent to lunch for Father’s Day tomorrow. It’s not happening because ICE raided his favorite restaurant today. In West Virginia. Because we’re so overrun by “illegals.”
I’m not complaining about our plans, but the absurdity and cruelty of the whole thing.

Found out today that one of my teaching team members thought Medicaid covered any abortions. She’s the only team member under 30. She’s also part of the less than 50% of our team who has never had to declare bankruptcy. Must be nice to float along in ignorant bliss.

One of U.S. Representatives from West Virginia’s grandsons apparently doesn’t know the Pledge of Allegiance.

I really need to know if @kristenarnett.bsky.social has seen the most recent episode of #pokerface

Trying to navigate heavy menstruation during perimenopause at a job when I can go to the restroom at 7am, 9:20, 11:30, and 3:15. 🩸 💀

The hyperpigmentation meme that recently resurged on TikTok gives me Punch and Judy flashbacks

I think Lady Elaine knew. That’s why she drank.

So a student in one of my classes kept playing noises from his iPad (not disrupting what we were actually doing). When he played a kind of clattering noise, another kid exclaimed, “ Why is that George Washington’s teeth?” 💀

Facebook post showing picture of plants and high tunnels on bottom. In part the text reads " our farm guys have been busy planting our spring crops

The biggest farm in my area hires white kids at their stands and calls their seasonal field workers who come up from Mexico "farm guys". They are never pictured of course. Locals don't know who grows their food and are largely cheering for these "farm guys" to be disappeared.

Just started The Bondsman, and it would be a lot funnier if he had to keep duct taping his throat to smoke. 💨

There are some glaring omissions here. Which is to say that:

Liberals hate acknowledging Black history too. Pokes holes in their “American exceptionalism” fantasies and wet dreams.

They just don’t like the methods 45 is using to try to erase it all, but they don’t disagree with his vision.

They were taught by someone who heard that a few skilled slaves were occasionally allowed to earn money when “loaned” to other places, and then latched on to that idea because it reinforces their idea of meritocracy.

we're deciding, at scale, that laws do not apply to republicans during an election cycle

My new neighbor’s name is Brock and he’s flying an extremely large American flag, so I’m sure this is going to be lovely.

Watching the Tennessee and Texas women’s basketball game, but I think I’m having some auditory sensitivity - the shoes squeaking on the floor is almost intolerable.

The Sandman Motel sign from the 1950s. The marquee says “say bye”.

They’re going to take this down, and that’s how I know the apocalypse will be incredibly boring.

My mother is trying to convince me that Yemeni pirates are taking over Greek island cruises, so I’ve really given up hope that anyone can read and make rational decisions.

Picture of a leaping salmon Text: salmon is short for salmontha

Good morning

My latest conspiracy theory is that the NCAA women’s basketball announcers are annoyingly pro-Ohio State because it’s J.D. Vance’s Alma mater.

Not at all. I was dealing with things a day at a time, but then my city government decided to jump on the “empathy is weakness” bandwagon. Defunding the animal shelter and emergency homeless shelter sent me right over the edge.

Does anyone else have a mostly offline friend who sends you things more than a year later? Yes, I also love the goth club fruit bats!

You know what the 80s were like? Tabloids ran a story about people catching AIDS from kissing the Blarney Stone. Taking a factual health class in the early 90s was lifesaving.

Anyone who tells you “we need to run government like a business” is secretly calculating how much your organs will sell for after they repossess your house

I want smoke bombs and fisticuffs.

We could've actually prosecuted the insurrectionist for insurrection and not ignored the 14th Amendment. Then we'd still have an education department and elon musk would be in a k-hole somewhere and we wouldn't have to see his fuckin face all the time.

I made my judgment about 6-7 years ago when my most obnoxious co-worker bought a Tesla.

Word? Presenting Orlando Jones in ‘American Gods’:

I remember when he pitched himself for this on Twitter, and I was so damn excited when his casting was announced. It was perfect, so perfect it made them uncomfortable.