Ducky

screenshot of a post from X by the Mirriam-Webster account. Their tweet says Words step up when numbers fail. They are retweeting a post from @david_arid that reads: There was a computer flitch at the end of tonight's Nuggets game that erased all the players' stats, which led to this fantastic screengrab from the post-game show. Then there is a blurry picture from a men's basketball game and the chyron says: Time Hardaway Jr. Stats are down but he played great."

I need "Stats are down but he played great" to make it into the lexicon.

A photo of a sign, white text on red background: JESUS... WHO IS HE? WHY DID HE COME?

When I arrive at the party

It's so fixed in my mind that I keep forgetting it's not called "And the rock cried out 'No hiding place'"

"Well it can't be that dangerous over there if they're willing to lent the kids behind"

Magneto intoning, "So... it seems we meet again, old friend" every morning while handing Charles Xavier his morning coffee at their Fire Island bungalow

My first thought was "The most hack thing they could do at this point is have The Rock playing Maui in live-action as well because why not" and then I had a sudden terrible fear and looked it up and for FUCK'S sake

Meme image of a chicken standing on a beach, with waves in the background. Text reads: If you are seeing this the curse is lifted have a good day.

@fallenlights.net was kind enough to share this with me, and thus, I spread the wealth.

once you funko pop you can't funko stop

Two separate posts by Bluesky user wematterweloveyay in reply to user Velvette: I Need Hormones. This Is Misogny...

Screenshot of video game Metal Gear Solid 2. Part of a conversation on the game's radio screen. Colonel Campbell, a military figure, is talking to Raiden, the games pretty blonde protagonist. It is partway through a nonsense sentence. Campbell is saying "does a raw blink on hara-kiri rock. I need scissors! 61!"

oh I thought it sounded familiar

I'm not sure my karma is good enough that I'll reincarnate as something with a 49-day lifespan

that's right, fraud is when you take money for something you don't do

It's a great cosmic joke that neurodivergence both runs in families and gets diagnosed based on parent reports. I was diagnosed at 30 because a man who has eaten potatoes every day for 57 years and a woman who collects loose buttons decided I was a perfectly normal child.

auuuugh what do you mean FIFTEEN YEARS OLD

"Yeah can we Fiddler's Ferry back *on*?"

At the

I’m sorry I just found out that in 1379, as in, 650 years ago, a baby girl was born in Yorkshire and named Diot Coke

history is a fucking joke lmao

I live in a time when "a cabal of pedophiles runs the country" and "the national media have been engaging in a multi a year long conspiracy to end democracy" are factual statements and I want a refund

I like how full text search of every book and human thought ever was a SOLVED PROBLEM in 2001, and now dicks at search engines and my own phone – a piece of silicon faster to respond than God was ever imagined in scripture – prevent it from working, _as a retroactive infantilizing design choice_.

Penguin Random House emailed me last night because their ebook team was going through the citations on TRUE BELIEVER and found like 40 URLs that no longer went anywhere

I had to correct them, and luckily most were caught by the Wayback Machine, but some are just… gone

Dead Internet Theory is real

One of those episodes of The Muppet Show that they cut segments out of on Disney+

R Kelly and Dr Bunsen Honeydew

It looks like he's proposing and then realising he got her name wrong, which is not a good sign in a fiancé

PLOT HOLE: Columbo spends the entire episode trying to identify the killer, even though we saw him do it at the start

The birth of the author

The Rest Is Smug Twats

Screenshot of Tweets that say: "Once at my granny's house my uncle excitedly said a James Bond film was on the tv. My Da said "sure they're all the same, a load of lads shooting at one lad then a mountain blows up." My uncle got really mad at how reductive that was then became furious when the mountain blew up. My Da, of course, knew it was the one where the mountain blows up at the end. This was a foundational lesson which illustrated to me that walking the path of the hater means knowing more about something that people who profess to like it."

"If I was asked tomorrow to write the script, I couldn't do it. We saw that coyote fall off the cliff, and then another big rock fall down on top of him. Are we supposed to tell the audience, 'Actually, that wasn't all, folks'?"

pussy I got too deep in for my current level and now I gotta restart

There *is* actually a piece of grit in the oyster this time (a "potentially misleading" edit of a Trump speech on Panorama last year that glued together two soundbites that were 50 minutes apart) but that's been used as a pretext for the expected "and you won't *believe* what they say about Israel"