Geoff Norcott

Restore, Reform, Reclaim & Advance.

Why do parties on the right sound like a slogan for hair-loss treatment?

Thanks to a brilliantly energetic Sunday night audience in Nottingham.
I’m off to go cycling with Mark in his weird Lycra.

Thanks to a lovely crowd tonight in Ipswich.
I also made a new friend in legal Keith, which may prove handy if the wife ever gets bored of me gigging on Valentines.

I’m back on @TimesRadio tonight from 7pm

The show’s doing really well - thanks to everyone who’s tuned in since I took over a year ago 🙌

Live near IPSWICH?
Want to go out for Valentines tomorrow? (but not to sit in a restaurant like a melt)

Why not come to my show and out-source the conversation 👇

ipswichtheatres.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/...

Weather’s been so shit I’m beginning to wonder if we’ve angered the sky gods.

Weather’s been so shit I’m beginning to wonder if we’ve angered the sky gods.

What Most People Think with Geoff Norcott Comedy Podcast · Updated weekly · In an overwhelmingly Lefty comedic landscape, right-leaning stand-up Geoff Norcott is a rare beast. In WMPT he gets to the heart of what ordinary people think about s...

BREAKING NEWS EPISODE 💥

After a mad week I reflect on…

- Starmer peering into the abyss
- Then going back for another look
- Farage only half right on working from home

Apple: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott...
Spotify: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott...

Thanks to the brilliant crowd tonight in Loughborough.
I don’t know what to say, the reaction to these shows has been beyond anything I’ve had before, can’t thank you enough.

What Most People Think with Geoff Norcott Comedy Podcast · Updated weekly · In an overwhelmingly Lefty comedic landscape, right-leaning stand-up Geoff Norcott is a rare beast. In WMPT he gets to the heart of what ordinary people think about s...

BREAKING NEWS EPISODE 💥

After a mad week I reflect on…

- Starmer peering into the abyss
- Then going back for another look
- Farage only half right on working from home

Apple: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott...
Spotify: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott...

Thanks to everybody that came to the tour Show in Spalding tonight.
Me and Paul are off to go “fishing“.

With Mandelson’s appointment I suppose there was at least a cynical logic of ‘juice might be worth the squeeze’.
With this Doyle peerage there’s no juice.
No squeeze.
There wasn’t even a fucking orange.

FOUR tour shows this week 💪🏻

Tonight - SPALDING (87% sold)
Thursday - LOUGHBOROUGH
Friday - IPSWICH (selling fast*)
Sunday - NOTTS (8 tickets left)

* er than they were

www.livenation.co.uk/geoff-norcot...

Guys, it's the meeja's fault Labour had their Monday melt-down.
Nothing to do with dodgy appointments, constant u-turns, an absolute vacuum of political thinking and a senior Labour figure calling for Starmer to step down.
It was the meeja!!!!!

Keir being charismatic in private is as much use as Tories 'banging their desks' during all those 1922 meetings.
Like a batsman who's looking 'great in the nets'.

NEW PODCAST EPISODE 💥

This week @jonathanpienews.bsky.social joins me to analyse…

- How Starmer’s No 10 operation imploded
- Why recent Labour leaders have been a bit weird
- Whether theme parks should offer queue-jump for ADHD?

Apple: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott...
Spotify: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott...

One MP told the BBC,

‘I’ve literally never seen a man so focused and powerful as the PM tonight. He was riffing happily and at one point played The Entertainer using only half-empty Pringles tubes and a glockenspiel which he conjured by using the Force.’

Sarwar 'The PM needs to go'

Who should replace him?

Sarwar: 'That's none of my business'

You called the press conference mate.

Won’t lie.

For my 2026 bingo card I didn’t have

‘Excitedly awaiting a press conference by Anas Sarwar’

Is it too late to get this going?

#OperationSaveStarmerButOnlyBecauseAnyOfTheAlternativesWillBorrowAndSpendUsIntoOblivion

I think he’s bucked.

The buck stops with me.
But I was badly advised to accept the buck.
And the buck lied repeatedly.
So I have now fired the buck.

Thanks to everyone who came to tonight Show in Hexham.
Lovely town, lovely venue and a cracking crowd.

Can’t be arsed to think of anything for Valentine’s? 💔

Out-source conversation and come to one of my shows

Weds - SPALDING 24 (24 tix left)
Thurs - LOUGHBOROUGH
Sat - IPSWICH
Sun - NOTTINGHAM (9 tix left)

www.livenation.co.uk/geoff-norcot...

Can’t be arsed to think of anything for Valentine’s? 💔

Out-source conversation and come to one of my shows

Weds - SPALDING 24 (24 tix left)
Thurs - LOUGHBOROUGH
Sat - IPSWICH
Sun - NOTTINGHAM (9 tix left)

www.livenation.co.uk/geoff-norcot...

It’s important to interact with the fans

One damaging thing for Starmer is people will start to realise he’s not *even* forensic.
Delegates everything.
The kind of bloke who asks ChatGPT what to have for lunch.

Morgan McSweeney gone!

Probably because on the podcast I tried to get a terrace style chant of his name to the original ‘Sweeney’ theme.

No coming back from that.

I didn’t

What’s the alternative?
The state sets the price of tea?