emma k park

Photo of three crocheted pumpkins. The smallest at the front left is true pumpkin orange with a dark green stem and curly leaf. The second largest is to the front right, sitting at an angle. It's yellow with a light green stem and two curly leaves. The largest pumpkin at the back is dark green with a large orange stem.

BEHOLD

MY PUMPKINS!!

good night it's 2am

me too!!

in true autistic fashion, right after being told i wasn't autistic, i told the assessor - through tears - 'i'm really sorry, but with all due respect, i know that i know more about autism than you do'

TERRIBLE!! but she had just told me i couldn't be autistic because i had friends 🙃

PS: it's almost as if thinking in a formal dialect, which aims to convey an idea clearly without prejudice or external influence, would lead to someone's natural way of thinking to be... binary? some may even say... black-and-white? 🙄

autism can be so simple... to autistic people, lmao

also, while i can be casual, it's not how i think: i think in unshakeable formal dialect, and translate, live, into the informal 'chat with friends' version

anyone who knows True Emma, knows that my natural way of speaking is basically essay format (@hjrwithpen.bsky.social knows) (4 / 4)

while i can use casual dialect, and use it 'undetectably', i don't trust myself to use casual dialect when i need to ensure i'm being understood

so, i often CHOOSE to use a formal dialect, because it's safer. there's little room for misinterpretation when i speak like a legal document 😉 (3 / 4)

i speak for myself, but consider: with rules, comes formality, and with formality, comes rules

casual dialect leaves a lot open to interpretation. REAL interpretation of casual dialect is in body language, tone of voice, expression, etc. - the hardest parts for autistic people to learn (2 / 4)

also, a musing:

many autistic people are told they have a 'formal' way of speaking, including myself

the medical field tends to put this down to a misunderstanding of what dialect is 'appropriate', or a limited vocabulary

i don't agree. i think something else is happening (1 / 4)

thank you so much!! hope you're doing well, been ages since we chatted! :D

exactly!

i love a routine, but as i'm ADHD as well as autistic, i really struggle to stick to the routines i make, and end up getting pissed off with myself

since going on ADHD medication, i finally feel much more able to stick to routines and i'm so much happier as a result!

posted this thread primarily so i could show you all my calendar now i'm on ADHD medication

i am finally able to have the rigid routine i've been craving my entire life. my autism is FREE 🦅

also, compare YOUR normal to a non-autistic or non-ADHD person's normal... but avoid asking family members or close friends who may also be undiagnosed!

bless her, i went years sharing my struggles with my mum, who told me they were all normal struggles - false! she was just autistic too 😅 (8 / 8)

so: don't take the questions, or results of diagnostic questionnaires, at face value, especially if you're a literal thinker

answer the questions from a different perspective: did you struggle before you had coping mechanisms, and could you live without those mechanisms? (7 / 8)

autism can also mask ADHD!!!

once again, when asked 'are you often late?', a common ADHD indicator, i answer no...

but only because i excessively plan all excursions to the minute, and have a mountain of fall-backs to ensure i am not late

without that, yes, i would be late ALL the time (6 / 8)

(this is why i find i'm a better formal communicator than a lot of non-autistic folks...

i had to learn the skill actively and learn it well, or risk being socially ostracised. i was not born with the ability to innately absorb the habits of my family or friends, for better and for worse)! (5 / 8)

autistic people may consciously use pattern recognition to function socially. this means, for autistic people who learn to read social situations, it's often exactly that: learned

it's an acquired skill like playing an instrument, rather than something that comes naturally (4 / 8)

even for people without an ADHD comorbidity: ask an autistic person, 'do you feel like you can read social situations?'

many undiagnosed autistic people may answer yes, because they don't realise the way they have learned to read social situations is atypical versus a non-autistic person (3 / 8)

what the questionnaire DOESN'T let me say is that i desperately crave a rigid routine, but my ADHD stops me from having one

the autism questionnaires don't allow for nuance. for a disability that's in part defined by literal perception and binary thinking, this is... sort of ridiculous (2 / 8)

remember: ADHD masks symptoms of autism!!!

par exemple, one of the hurdles i had in getting my autism diagnosis was the question about routines

do i have a rigid routine? the questionnaire lets me say yes (the autistic answer), maybe, or no

and no, i don't have a rigid routine. HOWEVER! (1 / 8)

ah, glad you posted about this, would have totally slipped my mind otherwise - bookmarked 🫡

Dr. Jane Goodall filmed an interview with Netflix in March 2025 that she understood would only be released after her death.

ahh, I would love to! lemme get back to you on Discord shortly 🌟

@dercribben.bsky.social i think i saw a message from you but i can't access Bluesky DMs (you have to age verify in the UK to use them and i don't want to give them my data 🥲)

if you have Discord you can add me there using 'emmakpark'!

i appreciate your concern!!! 😅

(i mean it's 100% true but i know that's why i'm not feeling rested lmao)

(this post is a joke to be clear!!! it is meant to be heeheehaha meme format, not a genuine cry for help... the crochet bit is deliberately extreme... )

this post is mostly a joke, just to be clear!! i'm just getting hyperfixated on my crochet 😅

also, i enjoy my job a lot, so... no problem there!

yes, me too... i had a good routine going but either way, it feels like i'm giving up on something i'd like!

oh phew, that's good to know. it's honestly held up pretty well, i don't tend to have issues with it! i just need to have a better sleep routine tbh :')

oh it's... yeah, it's maybe 7 years old 😬

we're hoping to do a big move up to Scotland soonish, and i was thinking to replace it once we're there, just to save moving a mattress from one end of this island to another... but maybe... i treat myself...

this is genuinely how i'm feeling at the moment. i am consumed by thoughts of crochet. possessed by the spirit of crochet