Sonya Mathews

ZippityTask is a gig app where freelancers compete to walk a dog that doesn't exist yet. It has no HR, no contact email, and its terms of service are written in emoji. The mascot is a squirrel in a vest who says, “Keep grinding, champ!” when you get fired. #jokes #millennial #agegap #jokevember

This shooter is an aggressive, abusive man who regularly intimidates women outside clinics. These extremists are dangerous and buffer zones have never been more essential.

A fair addition! they seem experts in this.

I listen to Russian through my English language brain, and sometimes, interesting mashups happen. This vulgar interjection, the first time I heard it, made me think of "zaika" which is rabbit and "bis!" which you shout in a theater for an encore. #russian #Русский #Русскийязык #multilingual

This is genuinely true. I do not like the phrase "guilty pleasure" or for that matter "a cheeky pint". Just say you like trash and it makes you happy. Move on. #guiltypleasure #jokes #comedy

A definition of the word "sphinctocracy" from The Comic's Wordbook, based on the wisdom of Magistra Mathews. #thecomicswordbook #dictionary #politics #usa #writers #comedian

I keep looking for food I know I didn't cook. Maybe the elves #cooking #adulting #jokes #writerslife

They even offer complimentary humours realignment—but if you question it, the department of Heretic Removal will invite you to a disciplinary burning. #jokes #history #office #comedian

Everyone was on edge, but to be fair—Kennedy did start it with “Just circling back…” #history #joke #email #workplacedrama #jokevember

It is a bit weird that we keep an animal in our house that has their own schedule. Like we just pass each other in the hallway without talking. Sorry man, no time to talk, I've got to go scream at the corner for an hour and then knock something onto the floor. #cats #awkward #joke #catpeople

I am my partner's ESW : Emotional Support White Person. I deal with the authorities, make phone calls, and complete all online forms. In turn he is introducing me to flavor. #romance #joke #whitepeople #jokevember #travel

Nancy Pelosi has shattered so many barriers. It felt like an opportune time to make a joke about the idea of the glass ceiling. #nancypelosi #jokes #politics

Mirror EXCLUSIVE: JK Rowling 'funding transphobia' as equality in Britain goes backwards, MP says Nadia Whittome, who has just joined Westminster's Women and Equalities Committee, called for the Government fight back against toxic narratives and show solidarity with the trans community

She said: "It's increasingly difficult when what we're up against is a machine funded by billionaires in this country and the US, with political support from countries like Russia as well.

"You just need to follow where the transphobia is coming from, it's not coming from working class people, it's trickling down from the top. "These concerns are not being raised by a cleaner on the minimum wage, somebody stuck in an abusive relationship. Trans people aren't a threat to them, the threat to them comes from violent men and the structures that keep them trapped, whether that's low pay, low benefits, not having access to the public services they need.

She said: "We see negative headlines about trans people in the media every day, the Tories and Reform continue to use them as a political football, often most damagingly in reference to protecting women from women who aren't trans, which misdiagnoses the problem of male violence, which is something...done to women both trans and not trans by violent and abusive men. "The only way we can stop trans people being used as a political football is to stand up for their rights unequivocally, by not giving an inch.

I imagine @nadiawhittomemp.bsky.social will be getting the usual abuse for speaking out - solidarity with her and all those fighting against hate manipulated by the wealthy right gleefully creating a distracting wedge issue

You have one birthday and suddenly the cucumber ends up in the cutlery jar. #forties #birthday #middleaged #thanksbrain

Today's theme is "fear factor", which as a millennial primarily means a trashy TV show from the early 2000s. Thus, today's joke references this subject. #jokes #jokevember #standupcomedy #joerogan

you are judging someone by their looks and using this conclusion to justify your prejudices.

It is your responsibility to be a kind human who engages critical thinking.

You are failing at both, spectacularly.

It is a classic of the genre for comedians to talk about dating. But I'm a bit rusty on the subject, so here is my homage to being clueless in flirting. #love #flirting #dating #jokevember #writer #comedian

I mean what she did in response to feeling uncomfortable in the locker room, and what she continued to do in the facility for some time.

That was crying fire in a crowded theater.

Don’t deadname people. You too are drumming up hatred against a tiny minority.

I am not even certain if this is a joke or not. Such is the lot of Americans right now. And much of the world.

This week I visited Open Comedy and mused about how people think being multilingual means that you are smart.

Spoiler alert : it do not.

#comedy #languages #comedian

Today Jokevember theme is Unwritten Rules. I struggled with this topic a little, so here are two offerings.

Women can be incorrect. Women are not automatically correct because they say something transphobic.

She cried fire in a crowded theatre. She stoked a panic. both parties had their memberships revoked for different reasons. the world is not divided into two camps and everything you don’t like or understand is the fault of the bad guys.

How the world's richest man is boosting the British right How the world's richest man is boosting the British right

“For nine months, Sky News' Data and Forensics team has been investigating whether X's algorithm amplifies right-wing and extreme content. It does.”

We know…

news.sky.com/story/the-x-...

I reached back in time to a hilariously bad conversation I overheard on a bus ten years ago. Explaining the economics badly in an enclosed moving space is a sure fire way to a woman's bed. The whole bus was giggling and cringing.

I support everyone giving vast sums of money to Andrew Cuomo. It’s the “lighting a million quid on fire” art piece but this time performed by the worst people in the world.

Day 5 of Jokevember is "food rules". There was much to choose from, but I went with a classic issue that people seem real upset at : pineapple on pizza. #jokevember #pizza #food #jokes #standupcomedy

An orange and white cat is lounging and looking like a goddamn champion

he appreciates the support, but Chancleta cannot be mayor of New York, governor of Virginia and New Jersey, and comprise the entire Pennsylvania Supreme Court, even though he will almost surely win all of those races. he's very busy and already works a full day.

A definition of the word "fracking" from The Comic's Wordbook. You can find more of these on my website : sonyamathews.com/wordbook/

#thecomicswordbook #comedy #standupcomedian

Today's #Jokevember theme is "Technology Fails". I had a lot of fun with this idea, deciding to look back in time. As a teacher it always gave me great pleasure to say to students "a fork is technology" and watch their brains explode. So I leveraged some of that for these jokes. #jokes #technology