Faisal A...

friend posts something incorrect: the casual unedited way this website let’s us fire off sentences is it’s only redeeming quality.

enemy posts something incorrect: well well well, dickhead’s latest thesis is up for defense

[ first day as a cardiologist ]

Is this your card?

Serious question: how does Man Utd get rid of André Onana? He must not be the number 1 next season.

Parenting isn’t easy; no one ever said I’d have to explain global events to my toddler, like when he’s playing with his food, and I have to remind him that there are children starving in America…

Remember, A.I is coming for your jobs, just not yet.

Merry Christmas to you all.

The Prime Minister should make a statement, immediately, to confirm whether UK missiles have been fired into Russia. Full statement below.

Back again for a custom Sexwhale avatar.

I may as well start a thread here.

RT and follow for a chance for me to draw your avi.

Ever catch yourself explaining a joke and the squirrel is just sitting there looking at you

In this new world, a towel becomes a rag, which resembles the human condition. We’re all just trying to stay soft, man...

Do we have a plan for when Elon comes to buy Bluesky just so that we continue to read his dumb fucking posts?

That awkward moment when you enter a train station and next thing an announcement rings out warning passengers that thieves operate in the station... Especial when you've never operated there before.

Approached a sign: 'Danger: Deep Water.'
The water itself decides to pipe up, 'To know oneself, one should assert oneself.'
Water, you're deep in more ways than one...

If there was vomit on my sweater already from mom’s spaghetti I think I would just stay home. No rap battles for me tonight please, I am unwell.

Just got invited to a night out, might debut my new dance move called 'the existential crisis.' You stand in the middle of the dance floor and question your life choices...

Why do people always say: 'the sky's the limit'?
Have they never heard of outer space?..

being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet: confusing and frustrating, but we pretend we know what we're doing...

I miss the days when updating your status meant changing your away message on Yahoo Messenger...

If I had a pound for every time I overthought a situation, I'd be rich and still overthink how I got rich...