patrick

HelloFresh should have a feature where j can just list the things I tried and they were not good so I don’t accidentally choose them again

An hour and a half of snow blowing later

It’s not #fcf but I did make my bed

I am taking questions at this time

Whomst else has caught the bug in their workplace

I bought a dildo that’s more aspirational and decorative until further notice

Tinker Swift, Taylor Swift, Soldier Swift, Spy Swift

Hi sir

My litmus test for “am I actually attracted to this person” is imagining them in clown make up. If I’m still down for the clown then it’s real

I got a new desk chair to be kinder to this 🍑

Reminder that this is a winning position, and people support it

A photoshopped Spirit Halloween costume of Lou Wilson, where the costume reads "Knife witch. I'm a witch with a knife"

bestseller this year i hear

Happy Saturday

Good morning

The seasons? Storied. The bazaar? Grand.

Be honest are the necklaces too much?

The city of concord is just a dead zone

I feel underdressed which means I’m dressed the correct amount for this event

I did have a drink

Is wearing just a cardigan and a jock too obvious?

How I look thinking I’m friendly and approachable

[bunch of guys who haven't read a piece of fiction in 20 years] my feeling is the kids don't read anymore

I need someone to explain the appeal of sweat and musk to me

I was social the other day

It’s never of question of if I’ll get sushi but how much sushi

I got a new jock and wasn’t expecting the pouch to be pleather

It’s always odd seeing Sarah Michelle Gellar in a horror movie. Like why are you running vampire slayer

Worked imo:

Ok Boomer
They’re weird
Will you shut up, man
There you go again

Does not work imo:

He’s dangerous
He’s a felon
Most important election ever
Rules don’t apply to him

Stop building up fascists into cool strong outlaws for scared idiots to hide behind. Deflate them. It’s not that hard

She is mainly thigh meat

It’s a bar bathroom and I’m clothed so it’s fun and different