Ointmental

Media loves fear rhetoric. Its kind of sad, but journalism isn't the same as it once was.

Holding hands makes me horny.

It feels so much better

The liars are booger eaters as well

Seems mostly an age thing - older generations teaching new ones to do it

Plucking eyebrow is the worst and I can't understand how anyone does it just once

peeing in shower is more efficient and eco-friendly than wasting several litres just on flushing pee.

people who don’t pee in the shower are either liars or really missing out

There are two types of people. People who pick their nose hairs and fucking liars.

do they need cirCUMference?

How does one measure ass size? Asking for a friend

Former fat doesn't make you less fat, though. Mentality is still there, and, coupled with fanaticism of neophyte, still makes a bad deal.

Try drinking a Frappuccino in 20-30° F. See how that feels

I fucking love frappes and iced coffee in winter. I don't understand how people hate it

You make up fictional arguments in your head and then feel good about winning them?

Propranolol and metoprolol didn’t touch my hormonal migraines and gave me wicked insomnia, 10lb weight gain, and may have increased tinnitus.

My wife flashes me and I completely forget what the hell happened in the preceding few minutes.

Tide Pods are not food, do not eat!

i hate being advised by any .. feels the same on pizza box "open before eating"

Fellow beginners, First rule of ladder climbing is don’t make adjustments while climbing on the ladder, Gravity tends to take charge when you try it

every single day with my family feels like homemade wrestling videos

You people still believe the number 7 is a magic vibration??, so after 7,000 years the universe resets its energy.?? seriously?

😊

I predict that you will find yourself delayed by road construction this summer.

Prophecies are cool and scary at the same time.

Humanity will end through climate change induced agricultural and food chain collapse. The ‘world’ itself will be fine.

If we lost our electricity and went off the grid for a year 95% of the people would die the first year.

I knew to stay away from close friends for few days so they wouldnt clock me looking busted 😭

Trump also has a long history of being parodied as kind of an "Idiot with too much money he doesn't know what to do with"

When I tell boss that I cannot possibly do all this on my own - he says "you did so until now" "its not in the budget" and thats that. A boss telling me something like that will motivate me to look for another job. That’s toxic.