xtina

i love to delete! i love to delete anything i can get my sticky lil fingers on!

the goat (brian wilson) with a goat (animal)

showing up to a new job with brian wilson bangs because i can’t really be bothered to cut them 😌

i made a version of wikipedia you can doomscroll
xikipedia.org

smokey eye undefeated by snow 😌🖤

breathing hard or hardly breathing?

they should call it egg drop gloop 🤤

going zig zag mode on the sidewalk

what the hell are the golden globes

ah please, son of sam is my son. you can call me sam

the yoga instructor tells me to engage my core. i toggle the swtich and feel my power levels rising. core engaged. plasma vents at 34%. within minutes my shoulder mounted turbo canons will be armed. namaste.

every NYT headline is like…They expected pee: poo greeted them instead

say hello to your little friend? i’d love to, he sounds great

i will never “set my SSID to boingo hotspot”

“you can’t pause dark souls” sounds like a lie invented by boyfriends

clocking in for my first day as a senior shambler at the dark souls III castle, hope i don’t ge- AEURRRUUHRRGGHHH

I'm not the girlfriend...I'm the friend that girled up

“try to avoid snacking after dinner” okay then I will starve to death in the night. good bye

just found out that the guy from Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea was just going horizontally???

vibing out to the washing machine’s song 😌 totally forgetting it’s telling me to come move the laundry

missed opportunity to use the word “sniff”

They said im in the top 1% of listeners to women

right?? it must be due to the love of the game 😌👀

football announcers sound soo excited when they yell “touchdown!!!” like no matter which team scored, they’re just thrilled to see any touchdown

when it’s time to go to the airport, the man with space in his suitcase is king

ask chatgpt:

- hollow templated response
- probably wrong
- wont challenge you
- is not alive
- making the world worse

ask a hot girl:

- anything can happen
- always right
- might be mean to you (nice)
- will remember this interaction for a long time
- is the entire point of having a world

Grok please jangle some shiny keys in front of my face. Nuance level zero

Mamdani turned his haters into waiters at the table of success

the siren song of an airport tub of pesto pasta…

"Jucika is cold" We're also hosting an emergency fundraiser to help us fund a kidney removal, this account is ran by someone in the US and is currently uninsured and needs as much support as possible, any bit helps, please consider sharing or supporting, the link is in the post below