ashelly

my head does NOT look like a skull

they’re gonna have to call themselves the vagrants when im through

oh brother dont get me started on the residents

i have literally never met a single person under age 35 who likes futurama

asked my grandma what she thought of this, you wouldn’t believe what she said!!

sketchbook chells

it’s proven

did you know adding “it’s true” at the end of any sentence makes it 10x funnier

back then cartoon cats were always getting their shit kicked in by mice and birds and nowadays they sit around having panic attacks. nothing ever works out for those guys

these feel like surviving artifacts of how big the first obama campaign was. like i look at these and go “god 2008 was that long ago huh”

ok this incense is pretty nice so he did deliver on this one

my house is about to smell like broken promises

ive just been buying gold bars off aliexpress i hope they’re legit

did jason

did the muppets ever give manhattan back

ive been itching to know all the whore angels updates thank you for sharing

we could have had universal clear throat by now if not for the actions of big tonsil

for less than the cost of a big mac you can buy a bag of deli tortillas and shredded cheese which you will enjoy much more-steve albini

okay but which flower

when i swallow it feels like being stuck with chimney pokers, my brain is running at .25 speed, and a layer of phlegm constantly sits at the bottom of my throat. i feel awful, and i'm really not excited to have to spit up more snot... but i'd still rather do that than play Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

I think they can call it that as the brand name, but for trade regulation purposes they have put like "Aqueous Torture-Style Product" in the fine print if it's less than 40% Chinese water by volume

woah the switch 2 is a lot less expensive than people made it out to be

that makes sense but why call it that if you’re not gonna bother sourcing it

oh my god dude of course chinese water torture isn’t actually chinese. this world is a network of lies

hearing smoke detector chirping in a different apartment unit is like a fun at home method of chinese water torture you can try

watching this as research into how i can be crafting more unique bueskys. will report back on how it goes

heh, looks like the news has finally come clean

i haven’t looked into if kidneys can grow back yet

developing a workaround to how much haircuts cost in this city. i’m gonna start bartering my kidneys which by my estimate means i’ll get two hairdresser appointments a year for basically free

franken franart