chalkcanary

I am the next coming of Michelangelo

The wind is howling so loud all I can hear is the ghostly screams of my ancestors

Dang I lost 3 followers for mentioning the Kardashians. Gotta add it to the black list

Elizabeth Warren is a baller

Those Kardashians were on to something with that laxative tea, tried one and lived on the toilet today. Feel so full of energy now ✨

I was so non descript due to my fear of authority the best I got was "pleasure to have in class"

Do you miss the snow ❄️

1, 2, 3, Peter, Paul and the lingering reminders of your past mistakes

Bluesky needs to rebrand "posts" like twitter did with "tweet", we could call them ... "chemtrails"

I made 3 batches of cookies from the same recipe and they turned out completely different. Baking is a science. 2 pinches more of flour throws it all through the window

Cupcake Wars was top tier television. People would re-create the Mona Lisa or a 2014 Volkswagen Jetta made of flour and fondant for the Cupcake Crown

The revolution is happening. Unplug your toasters immediately

Makes more sense when you think of how many people in this universe live and die by cardgames

The worst part of old game design is grinding for dink doinks

Love people who take on "special needs" cats. I would if I could afford too. Thank you

How to make friends

1. Talk to people
2. ???
3. Profit

The amount of old people out and about skyrockets December 1st

Every Christmas season i end up dissociating in a Walmart and spending over $300

I used to use these in the olden days, look at how expressive this is, let's bring them back

I mean yeah but then people call you narcissistic 🙄

I live in the house of unrecognized talent

Couldn't find her for thirty minutes

What if you played the Lego game once 15 years ago?

Not bara Jesus

She's innocent your honor

Magnificent. That green with that shade of sherbet? Absolutely magnificent.

There's like 5 in the rich neighborhood across the street and I've had to look at these eyesores daily

Sexy Santa Batman

Maybe to point them in the wrong direction

The expression on that sweet little face... 1000/10