Seymour Butts (horse version)

the joke is a mouth guard causes a lisp

i got my mouth guard and my husband keeps asking “mike tyson?” and then i go “i was so fat and nasty”

i was speaking in an australian accent to myself at the grocery store this morning (beel peepah, kewcumbah) and someone asked if i needed help and i responded in american english and terrified myself bc i convinced myself i was australian

when you stay past last call at your dive bar they promote from customer to volunteer employee btw

“there are no dragon/bug type pokémon” explain my cats then

i still have a scar on my finger from when i grabbed the fajita pan over a year ago. i am so greedy.

yup haven’t had a working phone in 8 months idgaf

Notice how the popular media narrative has moved on, while people on the ground in Minneapolis are still struggling and crying out that things are as bad as ever. This is how fascist regimes operate — overreach, recalibration, normalization. Get louder, not quieter.

like bro we eat pickled pigs feet and say “kyarnny” people outside of our area do not get that shit and we have decided to “other” ourselves from non-white cultures that could probably understand the unique circumstances that made appalachian people the way they are.

the cognitive dissonance appalachians have about the halftime show when we, too, have to leave our homeland in search of better opportunities ☹️

i fucking hate you Melissa you should really burn in fucking hell you dumb fucking wench

my beef with the water company has intensified x1000 as of today

i quite enjoyed the terrible rabbit because he is sexy and i like when old white people are mad

to see a performance that showcases all of the beauty of hispanic culture during a time that is so scary is exactly what was needed. no notes

rooting for the patriots is spiritually israeli

what if i just started posting my piercings when they leak or get infected

“where’s the leak maam”

sometimes when we’re working cattle and it’s already a high stress environment i do a Patrick Star impression on our walkies

i like when my whole family is arguing about something and i start doing a Patrick Star impression and they get even more mad

if my husband was rude or dismissive to a woman in need of help i would beat his ass

why would i purchase from a business that uses AI in marketing photos when canva is free

jobs i wanted from 6-18
-zoo keeper
-zoologist
-firefighter
-zoologist
-make up artist
-environmental scientist
-zoologist (the dream died here)
-lawyer (college began here)

Making it make sense: Epstein wasn't a global mastermind. He did not orchestrate a vast conspiracy that led us to today.

He was a very rich man with connections to other very rich men. The shared culture of these men is that they have a right to dominate and abuse others without consequence.

taylor i’m shipping you Bibble
via postal mail do NOT release him

so you’re telling me when i was 19 on acid watching cabal pizza youtube videos with 37 views i wasn’t wrong?

i have Bibble from Barbie Fairytopia chained up in a box in my closet

playing Junimo Kart is a form of self harm

ppl think that bc i’m from very rural appalachia that i grew up ignorant and uncultured but i had a german exchange sister so i knew what eggplant was …..

my “hoes mad” beanie, my bape t shirt, my supreme joggers, and my vans colored in with highlighter stays on during TSA check.

at the age where i buy glamor shots on a cruise ship #auntie