Blair_Wolff

South Park are the definition of chaotic good

The last time I knew true contentment was the day I got my hot pink Motorola Razr

Still got beef with whoever decided to put Ed Sheeran in Game of Thrones

Can't believe how important South Park feels right now. Wild.

It feels like we're living in some extreme philosophical thought experiment that aims to prove how fallible democracy really is. Just dictatorship with a fancy hat on (or a urine-coloured wig made of drain clogs)

A WHITE DUDE HIS NAME WAS JOHN HE HAD A QUEEN BEE RULES TATTOO ON HIS ARM HE ASKED ME IF I'D BE HIS DATE FOR THE PROM AND HE'D BUY ME A HORSE A PORSCHE AND A FARM

the ocellus alien eyeball doing the Michigan J Frog routine

hello my baby hello my honey

a man with a beard is holding a bloody hand in the dark Alt: a man with a beard is holding a bloody hand in the dark

RFK Jr has the deadest eyes I've ever seen. And I don't mean dead as in devoid of emotion, I mean they look like rotten corpse flesh, no light or gleam.

Fascinated by Fred Durst's transition over the years from nu metal nuisance to modern day cryptid

Watching Jaws on the big screen was probably the best time I've ever had at the movies. It really was meant to be experienced on a giant screen just looming over you 🦈 I wanna go again 🥹

The Hunting Wives is such peak trash (complimentary) 🫶

Fuck ai for many reasons, but fuck ai *today* for making me have to give up em dashes 👎

In SUSPIRIA, they weren't mean because they were witches...they were mean because it was ballet school. Clearly, you need to revisit CENTER STAGE and FAME.

Oh, Discordia.

Image of someone looking down at camera, but face is blurred out. "I don't like you anymore" above them on Keeper poster

I don’t want to play in your yard,
I don’t like you anymore.
You’ll be sorry when you see me
sliding down our cellar door.

NEON has unveiled the first poster for KEEPER, a dark trip from Osgood Perkins.

Create your own double feature 🎬 #filmsky

Two dogs snuggled together on a couch. One is a black, medium-sized greyhound cross, looking back toward the camera. The other is a brown medium-sized fluffy mixed breed with a swishing tail.

A close-up up of the brown dog's back paws, which are stuck out behind him. He is a little mutant, as his back right paw has 3 toes and 3 paw pads instead of the usual 4.

Having dogs is so cool. They just live in your house and you can pet them whenever you want and look at their little paws

what you want to do is put an impossible amount of pressure on yourself to “succeed” and tell yourself constantly that you are wasting your “potential.” do this until you die

"The body politic, like the human body, begins to die from its birth, and bears in itself the causes of its destruction." -Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Maybe every generation feels like this is imminent, but still... feels pretty imminent

Spaghettification is a silly name for something so horrifying

Michael J. Fox and Stephen King want you to READ!

On the 50th anniversary of the Jaws attacks we should remember that great whites can live upwards of 70 years, so be careful out there.

Its giving Ugly Sonic

My sweet brown dog Ayreu sitting with a curtain over his head like a nun's habit. He looks a embarrassed.

My goofy black lurcher dog hanging out belly up with her head shoved inside a blanket so only her snout is poking out. She just thinks being upside down is neat.

My normal dogs who are very normal

The bids for Texas Chainsaw Massacre are nuts:
Oz Perkins/NEON
Jordan Peele/Monkeypaw
Glen Powell/A24
Taylor Sheridan/Paramount Netflix
I say let them each make a version 👀 Texas Chainsaw Battle Royale

Recession indicator

Calvin dressed as a noir detective, saying "Yeah. That's me, Tracer Bullet. I've got eight slugs in me. One's lead, and the rest are bourbon. The drink packs a wallop, and I pack a revolver. I'm a private eye."

I'll never get over how the best line in all of noir – "I've got eight slugs in me. One's lead, and the rest are bourbon" – doesn't come from Raymond Chandler or Dashiell Hammett, but Calvin and Hobbes

Some of y'all can't handle 2 high agency males going at it and it really shows.

Twitter: this is how men with huge balls fight. This is what masculinity looks like

Bluesky: this is the first messy breakup of pride month

Every few years an article appears that's like :"The bandage dress is back!" and for a second Im excited, because lurking somewhere in the back of a wardobe I'm pretty sure I still have one - like the most 2010s FCUK dress. But then I remember why I never wore it. Fuckass dress. Stop gaslighting me.