Muppet Quotes

DIANA ROSS: Kermit, first I want to tell you, that audience is so great out there. I really do love doing this show. It's the best!
KERMIT: Uh, uh, yeah, well, well, they certainly love you a lot. It's just uh, well it's just... us that they hate.

BERT: If you're a football player, tell me, what is your team called, huh?
ERNIE: We're called the Dirty Rugs, Bert!
BERT: The Dirty Rugs? Now, why would any team call themselves the Dirty Rugs?
ERNIE: Because everybody's always beating us!

Enjoy the big game, Muppet fans!

Joe Raposo, wearing a black turtleneck and a wristwatch, looks ahead in a black and white headshot. (Image courtesy of Muppet Wiki)

"Some educators have complained... that we should curb the spontaneity of blues and rock and instead teach... 'Mary Had a Little Lamb.' But what most educators don't realize is that the lamb left the nursery the day they brought the TV set in."

Happy Birthday, Joe Raposo!

SCOOTER: Let the Winter Games begin!

Enjoy the Olympics, Muppet fans!

SHIRLEY BASSEY: What, I have to brush your rat?
POPS: Well, everybody pitches in around here.
BASSEY: Oh, good, then you can comb my crocodile.

Julianne Buescher, wearing a light green shirt and teal jacket, smiles in front of a cream-colored background. (Image courtesy of Muppet Wiki)

"...in school I was alienated and misunderstood, and The Muppet Movie spoke to me, validating my dream of finding a pack of creative misfits someday to call “family”. I had no idea that “family” would actually turn out to be the Muppets!"

Happy Birthday, Julianne Buescher!

(From left:) Yolanda, Camilla, Fozzie Bear, Miss Piggy, Sabrina Carpenter, Kermit the Frog, a pig in a curly brown-haired wig and a top hat, Rizzo the Rat, Gonzo (wearing a yellow helmet), a bunch of flowers, Pepe the King Prawn, and Scooter all stand in front of a dark red curtain.

STATLER: I can't believe they're doing the old show again.
WALDORF: Well, if it ain't broke.
STATLER: No, they are broke. That's why they're doing it!

"The Muppet Show" is now available to stream on Disney+ and airs tonight on ABC! Check your local listings!

ROWLF: Boy, could she sing the blues. She was a basset hound.
GLADYS KNIGHT: Okay, I remember her now. Didn't she write that classic, "I Won't Hang My Head In Shame 'Cause I Step On My Ears When I Do?"

PEPE: Happy Groundhog Day! Whoo-hoo! - Happy Groundhog Day! - Happy Groundhog Day! - Happy Groundhog Day! We keep saying it because we are like the Bill Murrays.

Happy Groundhog Day, Muppet fans!

PIG: Hey, Gonzo, Kermit says you're on next.
GONZO: Oh, thank you.
GLADYS: It's OK, dear. You'll pay me later.
GONZO: Thank you.
PIG: Hey, you're finally gonna get to do the old piano-balancing act, eh?
GONZO: Yeah.
GLADYS: You'll pay me now.

FOZZIE BEAR: Thank you. Hi. Hiya, hiya. Hey, hey, hey, listen. Kermit is letting me help plan tonight's show.
KERMIT: Uh, that's true, folks. He plans his parts, and I plan the good parts.

WALDORF: That was a funny show.
STATLER: Yes, it was. I wonder if they meant it that way?

FLOYD: Kermit, you are talking to Floyd Pepper, the hippest of the hip. I mean, I have a room for life at the Home for the Chronically Groovy.

WEMBLEY: Why are you so scared?
BOOBER: Well, I gotta keep in practice, Wembley. I never know when I'll be called upon to experience pure terror.

COUNT VON COUNT: I'm counting lights going out, and I'm waiting for this one, number 10.
LUIS: You're gonna wait a long time. That one doesn't go out until morning. Forget it and go home!
COUNT VON COUNT: Go home? And miss counting ten lights going out?

ETHEL MERMAN: Oh, Hilda.
HILDA: Yes, Miss Merman.
MERMAN: I don't wish to complain, but there's a mouse in my dressing room.
HILDA: Oh, yes. We'll move her tomorrow. But for now it's the only place she has to change.

STATLER: Hey, hey, you said I could lead this time.
WALDORF: Okay, okay, but I thought you promised to wear the pink taffeta.
STATLER: Oh, so I lied.

KERMIT: And now, a lady so wonderfully nutty that she makes The Great Gonzo seem like Sir Laurence Olivier.

JESSE JACKSON: "I may be small, But I am Somebody. I may have made mistakes, But I am Somebody. My clothes are different, My face is different, My hair is different, But I am Somebody."

We remember the message of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., today and always.

DR. BUNSEN HONEYDEW: Yes, friends, how many times have you awakened at night in the dark and said to yourself: "Is there a gorilla in here?" And how many people do you know whose vacations were ruined because they were eaten by undetected gorillas? Well, no more of that.

Eric Jacobson, wearing a blue-gray sweater and blue jeans, sits on a stool and smiles. Grover stands in front of him, with his arms outstretched over his head. Behind him are Bert, waving his hand, and Oscar the Grouch, who, looking grouchy, rests his head on his hand. (Image courtesy of Muppet Wiki)

"Everybody who works for Sesame Street has been working for the show for a long, long time. I have complete faith in their ability to come up with good material for the whole ensemble, not just my characters."

Happy Birthday, Eric Jacobson!

STATLER: Well, that kind of act only comes once in a lifetime.
WALDORF: If you're lucky.

MILDRED: George?
GEORGE THE JANITOR: Yeah?
MILDRED: Would you like to come to my place for dinner tomorrow night?
GEORGE THE JANITOR: Maybe. What are you fixing?
MILDRED: Well, do you like duckling?
GEORGE THE JANITOR: I don't know. I never duckled.

FOZZIE BEAR: Hey, the little problems in life drive me crazy. Like, what do you send to a sick florist? Huh? Huh?

GONZO: You'll all see because there's only one Great Gonzo. Only one!
KERMIT: Thank goodness for that.
GONZO: Ehh, yokel! Rube!

PIG: Oh, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. You are more beautiful than the summer days.
MISS PIGGY: You know, there's a lot of ham in you.

STATLER: I loved it.
WALDORF: So what? You also loved World War II.

Kermit the Frog wears a suit and tie as he sits behind the "Henson News New York" news desk. (Image courtesy of Muppet Wiki)

KERMIT: Well, it... it's been such a great show, that we can hardly bring ourselves to end it. And we all know who we have to thank for that.
FOZZIE BEAR: The scriptwriter!

Today marks MuppetQuotes' birthday! Thank you for following, liking, and sharing for the past 15 years!

KERMIT: We have music, comedy, 225 dancing elephants- who, unfortunately, left their costumes at home because they forgot to pack their trunks.
FOZZIE BEAR: I gave him that joke!
KERMIT: I wish I gave it right back.

DIGIT: You see, it's a minor glitch in my voice relater... and when I say "No," I mean "Yes" and vice versa.
KERMIT: That's terrible.
DIGIT: No.
KERMIT: Is it permanent?
DIGIT: Yes.
KERMIT: Well, that's good.