sommelier manic 🦭

haha lore

The oomf to oomfwb to oombff pipeline

If Tumblr banned AI like they banned porn, Yahoo would make their billion dollars back

I love it as long as it turns out pretty. 100% money is no object tho! They pretty much gave away everything in their apartment on insta before moving

Wait they're planning another renovation in Sydney. Nvm I'm back onboard!

Looks like someone already gave up on Locktober smh

FAIR!!

For years I've been thoroughly invested in this gay influencer couple who were renovating a NYC apartment and a beach house, then they just up and moved back to Australia??! Like that's not allowed! That's not the parasocial relationship I agreed to!! I was expecting kids!!!

Exactlyyyyy 🙂‍↔️

The 0.5x wide angle phone camera needs to be taken away from certain gays. You know who you are

A good hairline is the new Mustang, but male pattern baldness still gives fuck you money

Ukraine should agree to a "land swap" with Russia and then give them Chernobyl

We need an official OED definition for fruit salad because banana and pineapple do NOT belong in one. They're so overpowering! Melon, berries, and grapes are fine since they keep to themselves, but if you don't like pineapple, tough luck everything tastes like pineapple now!

You think Comey regrets his little October surprise yet???

I kinda want to join RaptureTok just to spread misinformation like oh you can't get raptured if you're circumcised or if you do get sky abducted the Democrats are allowed to euthanize your pets

There are autism announcements everywhere for those with the eyes to see

French Bulldogs were invented to teach gay influencer couples about medical debt

When you unsubscribe from emails and they send you an email saying they're sad to see you go

People who can't be bothered to write even a one sentence review on Letterboxd...what's the point? If you give a great movie 1 star or a bad movie 5 stars, you're gonna need to show your work. I know you've got a hot take in there somewhere!

Everyday is fat cock friday when you're unemployed

The most fuckable thing a gay man can do is neglect his social media presence for months on end

So MSNBC fired Matthew Dowd for paraphrasing Shakespeare, The Washington Post fired Karen Attiah for directly quoting the deceased, and now Jimmy Kimmel got canceled for presenting the facts as they stood. We're realizing the limits of free speech under capitalism and it's not looking good...

Whenever I think things can't get any worse, they do. But then I tell myself, "It could be worse, you could have kids!" and I feel a little bit better 😌

exactlyyy 🔪🩸

Sir that is toilet water!

Same!

Legit horror!! Scarier than Chucky

Post a movie you like with a terrible rotten tomatoes score

lol i love that meme

When a toilet automatically flushes while you're still sitting on it like okay little miss bidet wannabe that was gross 💦💦💦