Matty Breeze

Totally agree, the planet is coming up with more creative ways to get rid of us.

I could have sworn there was supposed to be some kinda supernatural element to Eddington.

Wasn’t there something weird with cows on the poster or something?

I mean…Darrell Hammond DOES still work at #SNL.

The short-lived Will Forte FOX sitcom The Last Man on Earth is such a goddamn forgotten gem of the 2010s.

Happy "I'M RIBS" day to all who celebrate!

@scottaukerman.bsky.social @pftompkins.bsky.social @shaundiston.bsky.social @ohsewnerdy.bsky.social @cbbworld.bsky.social

It’s the famous panel from Watchmen where Dr Manhattan is screaming I’M RIBS

ALL I want to do is make a rom-com that’s a mix of Clerks and Look Who’s Coming to Dinner, set in the universe of the original Planet of the Apes.

Oh! And the soundtrack is all songs by The Kinks.

Is that so much to ask?

My biggest fear in life is having to go under anesthesia, because I already say some WEIRD SHIT when I have all of my mental faculties.

I’m trying to compose a joke about shaving Schrodinger’s cat with Occam’s razor, but I can’t tell if it’s funny or not.

The simplest punchline is probably the best though.

1. Movie Stars
2. TV Stars
3. Comedians with a Special
4. Novelists
5. Other Podcasters
6. Toy Designers?

Last thought on my dream; when I got to the studio they were watching a movie called “The Savage King of the Planet of the Apes.” Turns out, in this reality, Toho held the exclusive Japanese rights to PoTA and made about 30 movies between the 60’s and 80’s that all had that crazy Godzilla aesthetic.

Best part of the dream was a cameo by @bibbymoynihan.bsky.social walking past a window in the waiting room, and did a fun bit where he spotted me and jovially pointed to himself yelling “It’s me!” To which I replied “It’s you!”

Will Ferrell was sitting across from me and asked “Who’s you?”

This, of course, is a case of dream imitating life because I was once invited to be on the @nevernotfunny.com podcast via zoom during the pandemic lockdown, and my Internet went down moments after my introduction, rendering the entire episode a disaster.

Dreamt that I was invited to be on @cbbworld.bsky.social as a representative of @figurecollections.bsky.social, and immediately hit the mic with my mouth, causing a loud screeching noise, breaking the mic, and causing the whole show to stop-down.

Probably about as good as it would go in real life.

The LA County Coroner has confirmed that legendary KISS guitarist Ace Frehley’s cause of death was an acute case of being Ace Frehley.

BREAKING NEWS: Production of Christy VS The Smashing Machine has been halted for unknown reasons.

I was mere milliseconds away from googling who on Earth Dominic Purcell could have played on the early 90’s Judd Hirsch sitcom Dear John.

Yeah, I recognize that it’s good joke structure, and I get why she’s popular, but her material just ain’t for me.

I don’t mind stand-ups who host #SNL just doing material for their monologue, but they’ve got to figure out a better way to transition out of it.

“…no, it’s the BABY that has herpes, not ME! Anyways, we’ve got a great show for you. Jamiroquai is here, so stick around!”

Having previously played Elvis, and now Frankenstein’s Monster, Jacob Elordi is just a Santa Claus away from playing the holy trinity of starring roles.

I was home sick yesterday, so I’m back on the B.R.A.T. diet.

Nothing but Bacon cheeseburgers and RATatouille for the next few days.

@preternia.com, got a shipping update from Amazon you might be interested in.

Did they remember to remove the perforated pin-feed holes?

RELEASE THE MALKOVICH CUT!

#F4FirstSteps

TARDIS SIGHTING!!!

Alright, on the count of three everyone do the joke. 1,2,3,…

21 gun salute to a hunting buddy’s face.

Crazy that #SNL made a whole documentary called “Downey Wrote That,” then didn’t even bother to interview Robert (Downey [Jr.])

My dearest ladies, and most esteemed of gentlemen, I’ve gathered you all here tonight because it would seem as if a Blippi has been moidered!

Rewatching Jurassic Whatever 7 and the first audible line is “How many times are we going to keep doing this?”

My thoughts exactly.

I have three words for you children.

Fun.
Sized.
Bars.