Oporst

me after getting shadowbanned

It’s NOT funny

Checking my followers list to make sure they're a bunch of freaks so I don't need to worry about being a freak myself

So curious that such a wealthy man never posts anything that indicates that he enjoys or is even aware of what virtually everyone appreciates - scenes from nature, pet dog or cat, praise for a movie, music, a book (but doubt that he reads); condolences for someone who has died; pleasure in sports, acclaim for a favorite team; references to history. In fact he seems totally uneducated, uncultured. The poorest persons on Twitter may have access to more beauty & meaning in life than the "most wealthy person the world."

Hey, yo. Joyce Carol Oates is dragging tech boys by their hair over on that weirdo app.

there's a moment in PARADISE LOST where Satan arrives in Eden and realizes Hell isn't a place; it's a thing he carries within him and it'll follow him wherever he goes. and i think about that when i see these awful rich men whose monstrous wealth has enriched them not at all

Joyce Carol Oates quoting a tweet that says “wherever he [Elon Musk] goes, he wants to leave”: "wherever he goes, he wants to leave"-- that's because when he gets there, he has brought his own self along; & whatever club he's invited to join has been devalued by the invitation.

Boy watching Homer beat up the krusty burglar: Stop! He’s already dead!

Only 9s and 10s count as positive for me. The question customers are asked is, "How likely are you to recommend [business] to a friend?"

Legends 🌟

#nightinthewoods x #animalcrossing

Generally speaking I don't want my items to be Futuristic, I want them to work

My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings. Look on my works and let me know if you have any questions! 🤗

I should’ve learned this by now but DO NOT use FedEx. The diseased monkeys I ordered haven’t arrived and I can’t get a straight answer on what happened to them

The original Far Side Cow Tools Cartoon by Gary Larson. A cow stands on its hind legs behind a table, staring blankly at the viewer from behind its heavy brow ridge. On the table are four crudely made tools: a lump, a lump with an offset crooked handle, a long stick with hooked prongs at the end, and a crude handsaw with irregular teeth. In the background a barn sits on a hill. Caption reads, "Cow tools."

43 years ago today, readers the world over opened their newspapers and gazed upon cow tools for the first time. happy birthday cow tools. you look great.

“Now go to sleep, Kevin—or once again I’ll have to knock three times and summon the Floating Head of Death.”

“Now go to sleep, Kevin—or once again I’ll have to knock three times and summon the Floating Head of Death.”

I've built a socioeconomic system that depends on everyone to do useful work and act ethically except the people at the top, who get unimaginable rewards for being antisocial frauds and criminals. And I think it will stand the test of time

Both sides of a conflict are calling each other evil and corrupt, rendering me, a humble journalist, helpless to discern the truth. Best I can do is let you know that both sides are in fact saying those things. Hope this helps

the reason you shouldn't yell "fire" in a theater is because i am trying to watch a movie

Me at 32: "I think my biggest strength is that I did really well on the SAT."

beached shark 🏖️
#art #comics #jawlene

The Sum Total of Human Knowledge, Corrected, by Me, the Guy With the Good Opinions

It’s absolutely fucking astounding how well they’ve sold and normalized this dystopian Orwell bullshit and how many Americans just swallow it as The Way. HEALTHCARE SHOULD NOT—NEVER EVER—BE BOUND TO YOUR EMPLOYMENT. THAT IS A COMPANY STORE TOKEN SHARECROPPER CON OF THE SICKEST MAGNITUDE.

anyway here's the email I sent to jim bankoff last week. i'm still heartbroken. I have been insanely, destructively angry for weeks, and I think I will be for a long time.

“And so the Greeks send me this horse, we’re talking about one of the most beautiful horses you’ve ever seen. So big. So strong. Normally they keep this kind of horse for themselves but they were such big fans they said sir, please take our big wonderful horse we’ll even bring it to your house”

OK but Morrissey often does go about things the wrong way

I would not fight the gorilla unless it besmerched my good honor

if only they didn't have to pay these damn writers they'd be making so much money off their writing!

No Friends Mark Z, who lives in a cave and has minus 80bn friends is an outlier and should not have been counted

Shark pilot origin story