sinistra

> Go through the 5 stages of grief
> Get to Bargaining
> The bargaining works and i actually get what i want

….the heck do i do now?

How to be a millionaire in the USA:

1. Become a billionaire

People attracted to sea creatures?

The 2 types of Pokemon Fans

1. People attracted to children
2. People attracted to animals

Can’t wait until #67 enjoyers find out about 69.

Youtube with content creators: "Say the word "h*ck" and your account will be vaporized."
YouTube with advertisers: "You want to send a scam porn ad to 5 year olds? Go right ahead!"

Thank

"I applied so hard and got so far, in the end I wasn't even hired." ~ LinkedIn Park

Wind deniers be like: “Must’ve been the….um….uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

Did you know there’s a real life version of Pokémon Go, where you can meet real monsters in your area and participate in challenging battles? Look up “Tinder”.

How to create a new madden game:

1. Take the previous madden game
2. Change the title
3. There is no step 3

"Why is your dick so small?" - Some girl, who doesn't even have a dick

How to become successful:
1. Wake up at 6am every morning
2. Take cold showers
3. Work hard
4. Be born into a wealthy family
5. Exercise

Virgin Companies now: "Nooooo I want an 18 year old with 25 years of experience!"
Chad Companies then: "You’re 7 years old, no experience? Welcome aboard!"

Depends on how much you pay me

Did you know that there's a strategy in battleship where you can win every single time, just by moving the pegs around in a certain way? Look up "pegging" to learn more.

How to get upvoted on /r/unpopularopinion

1. Post a popular opinion
2. Wait

Sorry I don't speak spanish

My mom thinks I’m a loser with no life. What she doesn’t know is that I have a mansion, tons of food, am a professional at construction, and have a full set of diamond armor.

look out your window

I can't wait for AI girlfriends to become real so I can tell people "I'm dating a model"

That's the Windows 11 experience

Medical commercials be like: "This medicine can treat your mild back pain. May cause depression, bleeding, sudden death, schizophrenia, and lycanthropy"