Julian

Ken Jennings: For $10,000 and the lead; In a common internet prank, the victim is presented with this strange 5-letter word. Upon inquiring about it, the word is turned into a taunt inviting them to taste the prankster’s testes.

Contestant: What is Ligma?

ken Jennings: 😈😈😈

Can i borrow the wife beam? Tryna turn some people into wifes.

The funniest commercials and ads to me are the ones that sell SaaS for businesses. Like okay I’m gonna go to the store and be like “one salesforce please”

Epstein ending an email

Highguard is yet another symptom – and victim – of a rapidly decaying internet

aftermath.site/highguard-rele...

my beautiful sexy friends have a new album out!!

You should definitely pick up my dear friends' new pop punk masterpiece MONDO COOL (album art by my other dear friend @mattielubchansky.com natch)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MONDO COOL!, by No Jersey 10 track album

hello! my favorite local NYC band @nojerseyband.bsky.social just released its debut album! it’s called MONDO COOL, it’s streaming everywhere, and if you buy it on Bandcamp today, they’ll get all your dang money for it nojersey.bandcamp.com/album/mondo-...

MONDO COOL! By No Jersey

But of course you can also stream it on whatever app you like! vyd.co/MondoCool

MONDO COOL!, by No Jersey 10 track album

Wassup bluesky, just popping by to tell you we’ve got a new album out! It’s called MONDO COOL! and we think you’d like it. Here it is on bandcamp seeing as it’s Bandcamp Friday and all: nojersey.bandcamp.com/album/mondo-...

ORSON WELLES: and what is, what is your CONCERN for me, sir?

INTERVIEWER: *inaudible*

WELLES: that I... smoke too tough *nodding* maybe so, maybe so... my swag too different... well ah HA. that may also be true. and my bitch... my bitch too bad. WELL. hard to ARGUE with THAT.

an image of bill clinton with the text "donald trump sucked me off??"

Suburban Homesick Blues

No Jersey’s new single is out! The track rules, one of my favorite Sam Tunes. We’ll have a video out soon!

Cover art by @mattielubchansky.com

spotify.link/QLqbggY5vXb

Suburban Homesick Blues By No Jersey

Or you can stream it! vyd.co/SuburbanHome...

Suburban Homesick Blues, by No Jersey track by No Jersey

New song has landed!! nojersey.bandcamp.com/track/suburb...

The Triumph of Death (flipped), by Pieter Brueghel the Elder, 1562

Sorry to my future wife, Heidi Gardner, but go Jags!

Poring over my alchemical and sorcerous tomes in a feveréd frenzy to make this autumn “Julian season”

Or BEAT red 😏

I was expecting that announcement in the direct

Here at Julian HQ we love Scooby-Doo and all of his friends: Velma, Daphne, Shaggy, Fred, and the rest.

Must be nice having a Switch 2

Just saw it last night and literally came out of it saying “it’s corny but in the way your dad is corny, which is good”

Oh nice, and yeah that song slaps! (and not just because it has my name in it)

I don’t watch but i heard it was “Oh Lord” by Foxy Shazam?

That’s Spanish for “The Mulan”

sonic hedgehog

Lol baseball edits becoming your new thing is pretty good

*Homer Simpson interviewing to be Liberal Joe Rogan*

A TRESS MACNEILLE CHARACTER: We’re looking for someone charismatic, affable, and relatable to the common man, but who also shares our values.

HOMER (smiling blithely): Such as?

*interviewer pauses, consults notes*

TRESS: Thanks for stopping by

The same hot dog photo but with a high-contrast black and white filter

And this Sin City-esque edit, which @autoames.bsky.social dubbed “A Dog to Die For”