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@fivefoldlaw.bsky.social

Gardnerian Witch. Discordian Warlock. Spicy Shopkeep. Notary Public. ThumperForge.com

1,539 Followers  |  384 Following  |  697 Posts  |  Joined: 30.06.2023  |  2

Latest posts by fivefoldlaw.bsky.social on Bluesky

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This month's episode of BS-Free Witchcraft is up for early access on Patreon! This month @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social joins me to talk about how the kids seem to hate Wicca these days for the weirdest reasons... www.patreon.com/traegorn

(episode goes public Oct 25)

17.10.2025 22:34 β€” πŸ‘ 5    πŸ” 3    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
A cardboard box full of author copies of the book THE CHAOS APPLE.

A cardboard box full of author copies of the book THE CHAOS APPLE.

Well, okay, then. I guess I really *did* write a book.

17.10.2025 20:19 β€” πŸ‘ 19    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0

Me: "Hello! What can I help you find today?"

Customer: "Nothing quite yet, but very possibly something in a bit."

I mean, hey, at least it was more creative than, "Just looking."

17.10.2025 19:43 β€” πŸ‘ 7    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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Keeping us fully grounded & reading all day πŸ₯Ή

w/ our own @seekingnumina.bsky.social @mawiyahkai.bsky.social @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social @jennycbell.bsky.social Jack Chanek & @ambersnider.bsky.social πŸ’™

πŸ“š @llewellynbooks.bsky.social
πŸ“½οΈ @elhoimleafar.bsky.social

#booksforwitches #witchsky #booksky

15.10.2025 22:07 β€” πŸ‘ 9    πŸ” 4    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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Incredible Books x Witches by Witches.

Featuring:
β€’ Mawiyah Bomani
β€’ @seekingnumina.bsky.social
β€’ Jack Chanek
β€’ @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
β€’ @witchofsalopia.bsky.social
β€’ Laura Perry
β€’ @blakemalliway.bsky.social
β€’ @irisanyamoon.bsky.social
β€’ @richardkaczynski.bsky.social
#booksforwitches #witchybooks

16.10.2025 17:27 β€” πŸ‘ 15    πŸ” 6    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0

Serial Killers: [murder people]

Ryan Murphy: "Okay, but what if they were just misunderstood and also hot?"

Netflix: "GREENLIT."

13.10.2025 22:35 β€” πŸ‘ 26    πŸ” 7    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 1

So far, I've had to explain that wristbands, armbands, Sam Browne belts, harnesses, and jockstraps are not tension restraints. I remain hopeful that he will eventually believe me.

2/2

11.10.2025 16:30 β€” πŸ‘ 9    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0

A customer asked for tension restraints. I found him a pair of tension restraints. And now he is picking up literally every other piece of leather in the store and going, "What about this? Is this a tension restraint?"

1/2

11.10.2025 16:29 β€” πŸ‘ 13    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

"Like, we're watching folk horror, but also, you are the folk horror"

New motto -

"Be the folk horror you wish to see in the world".

10.10.2025 20:49 β€” πŸ‘ 8    πŸ” 2    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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Dumpster Fired: A Chaos Witch Bottle Some witches will swear that the very first thing a new witch must learn is protection magic. While he believes that new witches must first focus on grounding and centering, The ...

A fun little article I wrote about counteracting WitchTok drama with Chaos Magic. Because sometimes we watch folk horror, and sometimes we are folk horror. 😈

10.10.2025 19:47 β€” πŸ‘ 10    πŸ” 2    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0
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New BOOKS available in your favorite local bookstore (physical & online) by our own @seekingnumina.bsky.social @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social & @mawiyahkai.bsky.social πŸ–€
All πŸ“š by @llewellynbooks.bsky.social πŸŒ™

#Booksforwitches #WitchyBooks #esotericbooks #Booksky #Witchsky #Occultsky

10.10.2025 15:34 β€” πŸ‘ 9    πŸ” 3    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Me, five years ago: "My dad's cool with me being gay and recovering from alcoholism, but I feel like telling him I'm Pagan might push him over the edge."

My dad, today: "DO *NOT* GIVE AWAY COPIES OF YOUR WITCHCRAFT BOOK. MAKE PEOPLE PAY FOR THEM."

So... I was correct. The edge was just capitalism.

09.10.2025 01:41 β€” πŸ‘ 35    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0

Dude who almost ran over a lady in the parking lot of the grocery store just cut in front of me at self checkout.

He really did pick a singular personality trait and commit to it, and I have to admire him for that.

08.10.2025 23:55 β€” πŸ‘ 10    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
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Race Bannon Bookshop As an author myself, and a prolific writer of newsletters and articles in which I often recommend books, I want to point readers to a bookselling site that empowers bookstores and the publishing indus...

Did you know that if you get your books from @bookshop.org they give part of the proceeds to support independent bookstores?

bookshop.org/shop/raceban...

08.10.2025 19:07 β€” πŸ‘ 14    πŸ” 6    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
The spine of the book THE CHAOS APPLE, which features a tiny golden apple with a green leaf on its stem.

The spine of the book THE CHAOS APPLE, which features a tiny golden apple with a green leaf on its stem.

The apple on the spine has a lil' leaf. I am obsessed with the lil' leaf.

#TheChaosApple #DiscordianWitchcraft

08.10.2025 18:08 β€” πŸ‘ 26    πŸ” 3    πŸ’¬ 3    πŸ“Œ 0
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The Chaos Apple: Magic & Discordianism for the Postmodern Witch Magic & Discordianism for the Postmodern Witch
08.10.2025 17:21 β€” πŸ‘ 3    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
A bearded person wearing a black kufi with thin gold stripes and a blue-and-white checkered button-down shirt holds up a copy of the book THE CHAOS APPLE: MAGIC AND DISCORDIANISM FOR THE POSTMODERN WITCH.

A bearded person wearing a black kufi with thin gold stripes and a blue-and-white checkered button-down shirt holds up a copy of the book THE CHAOS APPLE: MAGIC AND DISCORDIANISM FOR THE POSTMODERN WITCH.

LOOK WHAT OFFICIALLY EXISTS. Splattering onto shelves November 8, currently available for pre-order. (Link in the comments.) πŸŽ‰ #TheChaosApple #DiscordianWitchcraft

08.10.2025 17:21 β€” πŸ‘ 25    πŸ” 5    πŸ’¬ 4    πŸ“Œ 0

"Chaos is SO HOT right now! Your son hit the jackpot."

-My extremely Christian cousin, after my dad told her I wrote a book on witchcraft and Discordianism.

I fear I may have misjudged my extended family.

07.10.2025 15:10 β€” πŸ‘ 21    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

[the phone rings]

Me: "Good afternoon, thanks for calling [name of spicy shop]."

Telemarketer: "Hello!"

[long pause]

Me: "Hi, this is [name of spicy shop]."

Telemarketer: "... No. This is Mike."

I've gotta be honest, Mike. We're not off to a great start.

26.09.2025 17:35 β€” πŸ‘ 21    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

Me: "I was petty and passive-aggressive in a TikTok post, and now I'm worried about repercussions."

Employee: "Just do what I do and don't care."

Which is... really good advice tbh.

24.09.2025 22:51 β€” πŸ‘ 14    πŸ” 3    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
Six Feet Under "Rapture Death". (4K AI Upscale)
YouTube video by NewbieCanada Six Feet Under "Rapture Death". (4K AI Upscale)

The best rapture moment ever. From one of my favorite TV shows, HBO’s Six Feet Under. Only a minute, but unforgettableβ€”do yourself a favor and watch.

22.09.2025 21:44 β€” πŸ‘ 8    πŸ” 2    πŸ’¬ 3    πŸ“Œ 0

Very good point. Thank you!

22.09.2025 20:19 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

The directions on the side of the Tylenol package say to take two caplets every 4-6 hours.

I take three.

My autism powers increase exponentially.

I unleash a vocal stim that shatters every window in a five-block radius.

22.09.2025 19:53 β€” πŸ‘ 17    πŸ” 2    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0

You know what would be awesome? If every service worker in the US pulled a no call, no show on Tuesday.

22.09.2025 02:06 β€” πŸ‘ 11    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

I relate to this so hard.

20.09.2025 23:25 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

I do not know what happened in the spicy shop restroom, but it smells *amazing* in there.

I'm just going to accept it and not ask questions.

20.09.2025 23:25 β€” πŸ‘ 6    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 3    πŸ“Œ 0

A customer is going along a wall of products, holding each item up individually, asking for my take on it, then vociferously disagreeing with whatever I say.

He's halfway done, though, so only 224 objections to go!

20.09.2025 16:37 β€” πŸ‘ 10    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 4    πŸ“Œ 0

β€œAss, grass, or gas?” I ask on my overnight shift at the ass, grass, or gas station.

19.09.2025 20:27 β€” πŸ‘ 93    πŸ” 6    πŸ’¬ 5    πŸ“Œ 0

Me: [coughs]

Customer: "TURN YOUR HEAD AND COUGH."

Me: [blank smile]

Customer: [maniacal laughter]

No clue, y'all. No clue.

19.09.2025 23:07 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

I chose the higher ground. πŸ˜‡

18.09.2025 23:24 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

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