Bob

life is like a lemon
adding vodka helps

Just one more post and they’ll see. They’ll all see.

mr president sir theres a story coming about how you intervened to help a sex criminal. no sir, not that sex criminal you helped….no not that one either…sir, please stop guessing sex criminals that you helped. ill give you a hint sir, hes a trafficker. no sir, not that trafficker a different one

Yes, I know I feel much better when I do all of my "take care of myself" tasks, but have you considered: that's a lot of work and I'm very tired?

The first rule of Bluesky is never expect better from Jerry

Did the newspaper ruin the bad takes

Head in hands wondering how this could happen to me, the popular president who posted a video of myself shitting on everyone 2 weeks ago

“To get to any of us, you will have to get through all of us.”

Tag yourself, I’m a Skittle-haired they/them activist

When a headline ends in a question mark, the answer is no.

This is Bluesky, nothing is a bit

Just a messy bitch who lives for—I mean, dies for—drama

nice

“For as in absolute governments the King is law, so in free countries the law ought to be king; and there ought to be no other.”

- Thomas Paine, 1776

America has no kings and it never will.

"The human mind acts with celerity which it is sometimes impossible to measure . . . ."
-People v. Majone, 91 N.Y. 211, 212 (1883)
#LawSky

My “I plan to violate a court order” t-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.

*lost

You’ve finally got some more room for the most precious jewels: unhinged skeets.

Stupid shit only.

No kings but Aragorn

A protest sign that reads “‘A tyrant is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.’ -The Declaration of Independence”

America has #NoKings. Not now, not ever.

Tell me about the skeets, George.

“But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him?” Yes, I could swear I’ve heard that somewhere before…

in these troubling times of great stress and great uncertainty, I urge all my friends on here to remember that the most important thing we can do in our day to day is to be nice to me in particular

What I don't have in experience, I make up for in integrity.

And what Andrew Cuomo lacks in integrity, he could never make up for with experience.

“My Kink is Karma” by Chappell Roan is the same song as “Life After Lisa” by Bowling for Soup. In this essay, I will

my god there has never been a more accurate use of this

Everything computer