pollyanna sunshine 🌈

Seeking four other people to do the movements and get the hell out of this timeline 🙏🏻

I took an Overstimulation Nap earlier and now I'm wide awake. If I jump on my trampoline before bed, will I be too wound up to sleep?

Autocorrect changed "interesting" to "intestinal."

"Anything intestinal at school?"

Boy, do I have some bad news for the event organizers...

I’m sorry you mistook my whispering of “let’s get out of here” to mean something sexy.
I’m just having a panic attack

why aren't they throwing bread at me. what do the ducks have that i do not

Me: My parents lied to me

Therapist: I wouldn’t call that a "lie."

Me: [excited] Santa’s real?

I just thought about how maybe in another universe, I'm gray haired in Berkeley, married to a nerdy lady, sitting by the tree, celebrating the holidays with my 19 year old son. That made me smile.

0300. Neighbors are blasting music and I can feel the bass in my bed frame. 'How can they get away with this?' I wonder.

Then I realize I'm not going to call the cops, either, and put earplugs in my ears.

Why do so many feel like they've fallen behind?

It's not because of immigrants, trans people, DEI, the “deep state,” or any other bogeyman trotted out by the GOP.

It's because big corporations and billionaires have rigged markets and siphoned off most of the economy's gains.

a black and white cat wearing a cone collar looks at itself in the mirror ALT: a black and white cat wearing a cone collar looks at itself in the mirror

I smeared black pomade on my forehead when I scratched my eyebrow. Fortunately, I was at my psych clinic when I did it, so I just looked like I fit in.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

"I'm fresh off a breakup with a Big, Dumb Man" has been a helpful way to decline potential suitors. I highly recommend using it.

"It's like braaaaain"--zombie Alanis Morrisette

Naomi Watts in 21 Grams.

Both of my cats wear collars with bells on them. Sometimes it sounds like someone brought a tambourine to a cat fight.

Things I google when I can't sleep, volume 17:

"did Sylvia Plath death influence changes in gas ovens"

"has the lady who played serena joy remarked on erika kirk"

I have not had good BBQ since I left Arkansas. Arizona and Cali BBQ tastes sweet and/or like preservatives. If you are from Tennessee, Missouri, or Arkansas, may I please have your pulled pork recipe? Maybe I'll make sliders for Yule.

LOTR 2: Oh lord, there goes those rings again

Errbody in the club making sure to stretch first to avoid strains and pulls.

He looks like he’s trying to stop his dog from leaving him

a man in a white shirt and tie is eating a piece of food ALT: a man in a white shirt and tie is eating a piece of food

I scolded my cat for being mean, but then I remembered I'm the same person who told my ex to join a medical research study because the fact that he survives without a heart or balls had to be groundbreaking.

I had an Ativan dream that I was on the beach with a bunch of gays in San Francisco who were like, 'yass queen, you can totally make it out here in Norcal! Manifest your dreams, baby!'

Then I woke up in Arizona under a pile of blankets. Joy.

I don't know why my delivery guy wouldn't make eye contact and was in a hurry to leave: I'm just an angry girl blasting dark techno and signing an order for candles, peppers, matches, and Kraken.

And pizza, cos even witches have to eat.

Thank you.

Just gonna throw out there, $220 and my 1 month prescription can be a three month prescription for like 3 of my meds which would help take some of the stress out of the start of new healthcare costs in 2026.

I've gotta stop being a safe harbor for people who prefer the storms.

Oh the scifi channel's marathons were epic. Probably the best run of television one could get on basic cable back in the day.

I want to watch a YouTube channel called Drunk Hexing.

There’s nothing I could say that’s funnier than “Seth Rollins and Becky Lynch reveal the discrimination they face as Cybertruck Owners”