I know that in reaction to tariffs some people are stocking up on toilet paper or quickly getting a new phone, but I’m laser focused on coffee and chocolate.

Grocery store disassociation music has shifted to Eminem 🍝

Respect to the patron ahead of me at Costco buying nothing but cases of flavored sparkling water and warehouses bottles of vodka and tequila

atp I’m composed almost entirely of peanut m&ms

I need to sit in my car in the grocery store parking lot and stare into space for a little while so yeah everything is going swell.

Sorry if you wanted this spot.

El Capitan displays a massive American flag upside down—the traditional signal of distress or extreme emergency.

“The King” eh? My French ancestors have feelings about that.

Podcasts about the fall of empires seem great for today.

I’ve been focusing on life affirming things like cheese and K-pop because let’s not ever forget that resistance is found in joy 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️💖

Happy "Sending Error Report to Google Earth for Mislabeling the Gulf of Mexico" Day

I cannot imagine giving less of a 💩 about this superbowl or this president attending it. Unless Kendrick Lamar does something cool.

I deeply appreciate how reliably first graders will laugh at poop jokes.

Working outside in the rain on a ranch has its pros and cons. For example, con: it’s physically demanding and you get really wet. Pro: it’s honest work done honestly, so you’ll never run into the president or any of his appointees.

Probably because I also restocked maple syrup and that’s a pretty good distraction

😭 you’re safe from me for now

Everyone being so painstaking polite in the restocked Costco egg section, because honestly it feels like a brawl could break out any minute.

What is the point of her, I would love to know

Unable to tell if that sick feeling in my stomach is a result of the current president or a bad flourless chocolate muffin.

It’s like Republicans have forgotten that Captain America was created to punch Hitler in the face.

I want to say something clever about Punxsutawney Phil and Aristotle's hedgehogs, but honestly, idgaf

THIS AMERICAN DOES NOT WANT YOU TO WORK TOGETHER WITH A FUCKING FASCIST TO FIND COMMON GROUND ON WHICH PARTS OF DEMOCRACY WE NO LONGER NEED

Watching an apocalypse drama during an apocalypse is not actually relaxing

If anyone else is spending their Friday night having a good cry, I think that’s pretty fine and normal. Good job being human.

ye gods what have i done

my god tomorrow is STILL JANUARY

Sometimes my sarcasm subroutine goes offline and I’m troublesomely heartfelt. I hate that.

Why is it so exhausting just to walk outside sometimes? I’ll never get to Mordor at this rate. 💍 🥔 🌋

My brain is trying to root itself, which means revamping the garden, buying paper books, watching videos of female bees purging their hives, and eating fried potatoes.

Ancient Romans have got you covered: fascina

I don't disagree, but I also can't agree. NPR coverage of Gaza was inferior to tiktok and that's absurd.