Goose

A man scoops a little hole in the ground and lies face down with his dick in it. His dick grows into a sapling and then a mighty oak. His body remains as stiff as a plank at the top.

At the Deathbed, by Edvard Munch, 1895

How did the newt cross the road? With the help of the Chileno Valley Newt Brigade! In northern California, a group of volunteers spend every night from late fall through winter as crossing guards–escorting migrating salamanders across a rural road.

In Northern California, a group of volunteers spend every night from late fall through winter as crossing guards–escorting migrating salamanders across a rural road.

The Martyrdom of Saint James, by Francisco de Zurbarán, 1640

Oh my god CAN WE PLEASE FOCUS ON CLASS CONSCIOUSNESS RATHER THAN BEATING OUR OWN MEAT TO OUR OWN MORAL SUPERIORITY

A man points to himself and says "I have Golden Retriever Energy..." He gestures towards a pen containing three golden retrievers who are all hooked up to an IV that drains their bodily fluids into an arcane machine. Another man asks "what the hell is this?" The first man says nonchalantly "I am extracting their essences for fuel."

Democrats are controlled opposition. Stop acting like all our problems can be solved with hating trump and calling him a rapist. PEOPLE KNOW AND THEY DONT CARE. Everyone just jerks themselves for being so fucking enlightened.

I’m tired of you fucking liberals and your lack of awareness. To be radical is to get shit done. That’s why the blatant oligarchy in front of us is happening. Radical change happens with radical action.

I hate musicals (unless they're good)

A plump, glossy bud of sweetgum, with brown and green bud scales enclosing flowers, leaves, and stems, above a small lateral bud containing leaves and stems. Copyright Tom Kimmerer

Don’t be glum about the long, cold winter. Look around: the trees are busy, not sleeping. When the temperature permits, cells in this bud are dividing, maturing into flowers, leaves, stems. The cambium, maker of all the trees, is preparing for its spring festivities. Be like a tree: keep growing.

The SpongeBob broadcast elevates the NFL to high art imo

Trans woman in her 20s (desperate, grabbing me by shoulders): save me Trans woman in her 30s Me (overwhelmed by her intensity): *high pitched shrieking* Trans woman in her 20s: *sympathetic high pitched shrieking*

I like the sense of movement

A NASA photo of NGC 2264- a cosmic tree that has been named the Christmas Tree Cluster which lives in our galaxy about 2,500 light-years from Earth. It contains baby stars that are between 1 and 5 million years old 🥺

when the star on the tree is an actual star lol

A NASA photo of the Christmas Tree Cluster 🎄

I do want that

Do not let your Junimos have protein shakes

Somebody for the love of god give me better accounts to follow

Saints Michael and Francis, by Juan de Flandes, 1505-09

The movie Home Alone was released in November 1990, at the start of the US-led Gulf War. It was #1 at the box office until that wars end, in February 1991. The film’s popularity can in part be explained by its fitting with liberal arguments about America’s failure in Vietnam 1/10

I DID IT I MADE THE LAST JOKE TO EVER BE MADE THAT WASNT DERIVATIVE its over.... *evaporates leaving only a buttplug behind*

Free Curve to the Point - Accompanying Sound of Geometric Curves (rotated), by Wassily Kandinsky, 1925, 📸 by @redwingdgr

A woman says "since coming out as Trans, I am finally indulging my instinct to wear a variety of cute lil' outfits." With a look of determination, she clenches her fist and says "I have now achieved even closer kinship with my greatest hero and role model." She tearfully salutes a massive shrine dedicated to Roger the Alien from American Dad.

play it cool

the belief that low IQ is correlated to the amount of things you can jack off to; i.e. you can jack off to a sandwich if youre stupid enough

A drawing of The Noid, the Dominos anti-mascot from the 80s, sits in a sparse room on his bed, wearing only the mask, underwear and socks, his costume crumpled on the floor. He looks dejected. He says "I don't know why I do the things I do. Just going out of my way to bother other people. Is this the only way I can connect with others? Am I just howling impotently trying to prove to myself that I even exist in the world? It's all I know."

Noid