Jerry Corley

Hockey, the way it was meant to be played.

My daughter heard me say "I fell in love 'head over heels'" and she said, "Daddy How come they don't say 'heels over head'?"
I said, "That comes later."

Don’t worry, if Valentine’s Day doesn’t ruin your bank account, St. Patrick’s Day is right around the corner—that’s when we celebrate alcoholism. i’m Irish, I’m already calling a bankruptcy attorney.

Valentine’s Day: a tender, candlelit, dopamine-fueled shakedown. If you need a designated day to say “I love you,” your relationship is already a dumpster fire, and no overpriced soufflé is gonna haul it out. #ValentinesDay

The greeting card companies, the florists, the chocolatiers—they got together like a cartel of emotional loan sharks and figured out how to turn love into a transaction. They turned “I love you” into “We take Visa.” ❤️ #ValentinesDay

"One of the great tragedies of mankind is that morality has been hijacked by religion. So now people assume that religion and morality have a necessary connection. But the basis of morality is really very simple and doesn't require religion at all."

Arthur C. Clarke

Go get ‘em!

“If a nation expects to be ignorant and free ... it expects what never was and never will be.” — Thomas Jefferson

I’d go with the non profit.

a cartoon gorilla is standing on a wooden floor holding a baby gorilla . ALT: a cartoon gorilla is standing on a wooden floor holding a baby gorilla .

Happy Birthday, Jon! 🎉🎂

You were always on point with the tough questions in that press room. I will be following you on Substack! You’re like the Dave Chappelle of news, not afraid to walk away when the network’s morals caved.

EU medicines agency quits X, moves to Bluesky The European Medicines Agency (EMA) said on Monday it would no longer post on X and would use rival Bluesky instead, becoming the latest organisation to quit a social media platform that some have criticised for its content.

www.reuters.com/world/europe...

I dated a girl like the bi-polar weather in CA. I called her the “Ice Princess.” She’d be happy in the morning. When I’d come home at night, before I went in, I’d touch the front door with my tongue. If it stuck, I’d stay at the neighbor’s.

We all have moments when kindness feels distant, but a reminder like this can spark a quiet warmth. Here’s to finding those beautiful surprises waiting in your Saturday.”

Agreed. Thanks for sharing. Followed.

Isn’t that the truth

See through the eyes of compassion

😊

“To be distracted from one thing is to attend to another.” Social media is just the newest distraction. We’ve been distracted from each other since the iron stove. According to this piece from the New Yorker. link.newyorker.com/view/5c155a7...

I have to scour that and find it. If they don’t smell a rat, something is wrong with their sniffer.

How to write 1-liners like Steven Wright.
1. Grab 10-20 single subject idioms.
2. Find the paradoxes.

“They said I need a nest egg, then they said don’t put all your eggs in one basket. So do I need a nest or a basket? I feel like the chicken is fucking with my retirement.”

i think the executive orders directing agencies to end energy efficiency regulations and open up more land to drilling and mining is so indicative of the character of the american right — in its view everything, whether people or our larger environment, is something to be exploited and dominated

Direct violation of the 1st amendment.

This is who I’ll be thinking of tomorrow. Not some goddamn traitor’s return to the scene of his crime…..

Who would say this?

Nice example of George Carlin’s philosophy of finding the unassailable truth. Just look one or two layers deeper into the story and there lies the hypocrisy.

My oldest son is 31, when he was in Grammar school they decided that they weren’t going to teach cursive. I was like how are they going to learn how to read important documents. The principal was like what important documents? I was like, “I don’t know, maybe like the Declaration of Independence.”

Can you read cursive? It's a superpower the National Archives is looking for. The National Archives is looking for volunteers with an increasingly rare skill: Reading cursive.

The National Archives is looking for volunteers with an increasingly rare skill: Reading cursive.

44 Republicans Voted Against Forest Management Wildfire Prevention in December The funds allow states like California to create barriers to stop the spread of fires

Why would they want to put America (and Americans) First when their voting record clearly shows they want their neighbors to either die a horrible death, lose everything they own, or both?

meidasnews.com/news/44-repu...

He’s probably going for an insurance scam too. What a joke.
Meanwhile actor Steve Guttenberg helped his neighbors

www.usatoday.com/videos/enter...