Tagging the correct @malachibarrett.bsky.social account over here :)

85 yards through the butthole of Indiana

if you want the same handle again, just let me know! I don’t spend too much time over here, and as a journalist I can see why you might want the same handle on different platforms

this is a Chicago account now

The guys putting up the walls just forgot these at home

This floor plan pisses me off

I thought it was older tbh

They have West Loop and South Loop but not The Loop 😔

I rarely ever leave the loop

We are so back

See you there!

Moving from Twitter to Bluesky means you can get long sought after handles that have been held hostage for years

United: “we ran 300 statistical models saying that we can speed up our boarding process by 3 minutes and 12 seconds if we increase the number of boarding groups from 5 to 6”

Southwest: “we’re running our own version of the Stanford prison experiment”

The Barbie movie is advertising on Facebook marketplace now

Born too early to become a space pirate

Born to late to become a real pirate

Born just in time to try and become a Bluesky microcelebrity

[me telling my story how I survived a plane crash and lived on a deserted island for a year] it was crazy
[friend who once got a text from me where I accidentally called the grinch the grink] was the grink there?

Better to have Uranus in Cancer than cancer in Uranus

People don’t talk enough about how Cincinnati is the best city* in America

*without light rail
*without a network of protected bike lanes
*with increasingly problematic politics
*that was formerly ran by a game show host

ME: Is he going to make it?
DOCTOR: No. I'm afraid he's down with
the sickness
ME: *crying* oohwahahahah
DOCTOR: *holds hand*
oohwahahahah